MAFS, finding success and comparisonitis – an interview with celebrant Kelly Hawes

Show notes:

In today’s episode I’m interviewing award winning wedding celebrant Kelly Hawes. Kelly shares her experience of redefining her career, stepping out of her comfort zone and how she ended up as a celebrant on the last two series of Married at first sight.

She shares so many great tips as she walks you through the ups and downs of her own self employment.

Today’s guest Kelly is a member of the Wedding Pro Members Lounge. If you would like to become a member, you can get the first month for just £1 by using the discount code: PODCAST

Click to find out more about the members lounge

Find out more or connect with Kelly:

Visit Kelly’s website

Follow Kelly on Instagram

Enjoyed today’s episode why not listen to one of my other ‘real wed pro’ interviews:

Florist Sophie Ayres

Wedding planner Hannah Rose

Videographer Rachel Vine

Transcript:

Kelly: [00:00:00] I couldn’t even count now how many times I’ve had a recommendation from somebody else in the group or somebody I’ve networked with. And do you know what really amazes me is actually I have had recommendations. From people I’ve never heard of , because I think you are networking. And then the people you are networking with are networking. The name resonates around.

Becca: I’m Becca Pountney, wedding business marketing expert, speaker and blogger, and you are listening to the Wedding Pros who are Ready to Grow Podcast. I’m here to share with you actionable tips, strategies, and real life examples to help you take your wedding business to the next level.

If you are an ambitious wedding business owner that wants to take your passion and use it to build a profitable, sustainable business doing what you love, then you’re in the right place. Let’s get going with today’s episode. Today’s guest is one of the loveliest people you could hope to meet in the wedding industry [00:01:00] as a qualified celebrant.

She’s passionate about giving her couples a personalized ceremony that fits their personalities, and is always educating couples, wedding suppliers, and venues about why celebrate weddings are a great option. With numerous awards and a couple of TV appearances under her belt. Kelly has built up a wonderful business and a great reputation in the industry.

I just know you’re gonna love hearing her story. Kelly, welcome to the podcast.

Kelly: Hi, Becca, Thank you. That was a really lovely introduction. You made me a bit emotional already.

Becca: That’s what we’re all about on this podcast is looking back and being proud of the journey that you’ve come on. So Kelly, I’ve given people a little bit of an overview there about who you are and what you do.

Why don’t you just start by telling us how you ended up in the wedding industry in the first place?

Kelly: Oh gosh. Okay. It’s. A long story, so I’m going to try to cut that right down. Basically, I have been self-employed for such a long time now. The last business I was [00:02:00] running, it was a domestic cleaning agency that I ran from home because it worked around the children who are now adults and.

I guess nine years of doing that and dealing with 30 staff, the stress levels were very high by the end of that term and I decided enough was enough. I’m going to sell this business, but I don’t know what I’m going to do next. And that was it really, it was very much looking at myself and trying to decide who am I now that I’m not school run Mum , who am I?

What do I enjoy doing the wedding industry? Always pulled me. And I’ve often said, I think that’s because of my obsession with Say Yes to the dress . Uh, yeah, I just did lots of research to settle on what was going to suit me and the hours I wanted to work best. And I found this word celebrant. I had no idea what it was, [00:03:00] but it was when I was researching what a registrar

kind of needs to be. And that was it, Becca, to be honest, um, I saw that, I thought I can do that. Got myself booked on a training course and literally haven’t looked back since.

Becca: So it was a bit of a, an exploration then really, it was a bit of an exploration into what you wanted to do, who you wanted to be, and this celebrant thing came jumping out at you.

So if anyone’s listening and has absolutely no idea still what a celebrant is, do you wanna just explain to people. What it is and how it works.

Kelly: Okay. The easiest way to explain that is to say that I am an alternative to using a registrar for your wedding. So I’m the person standing up at the top of the aisle that’s gonna be right there with you throughout the ceremony, but, It’s not no standard wording, so I get to know all of my couples.

I’m gonna say inside out. It’s amazing how much stuff I know about , the couples after [00:04:00] we’ve got together. But we put together between us really a story which very much talks about their journey together. We celebrate who they are as individuals. We celebrate the love they feel for each other. Because I think love is shown and felt very differently by us all.

And you know, I, I write a ceremony that really encompasses who they are. I put lots of modern touches in there, a little bit of fun as well. I really want to see their guests smiling and laughing throughout rather than looking a bit somber because they’re bored . Um, so yeah, basically that’s it. I write the ceremony with the help of the couples and I deliver that on the day.

Becca: Brilliant. So it’s not a legally binding ceremony at this point in time, is it? But it does mean that people can blend a mixture of religion and different personalities and things like that into their day. Is that right?

Kelly: Yes, totally. It, it really just means that you have got free reign over what is said and done throughout your ceremony.

[00:05:00] There’s no standard package. You’re quite right. One of my favorite parts to do is to blend two faiths into one ceremony. I think that’s a really special thing and a really great, great way of incorporating, you know, both your backgrounds. We live in a very diverse culture, and I think that should be celebrated in itself.

We don’t have to have religion. It can be totally secular. To be quite honest, there are no rules. I think most of my couples still want the structure that looks and feels every bit of a wedding. So many that you would expect. But if anyone said to me, I’m going to cartwheel down the aisle and I’m not gonna have any music, and.

Oh, I could. And you know, Can you tell some jokes? Okay. . I think that’s a big extreme, but it just goes some way of kind of showing anything is possible.

Becca: Amazing. So you found the thing that you love doing. Now, one thing that people find when they’re listening to this podcast or when they’re talking to me, is that the difficult thing [00:06:00] about.

Starting your own business is starting it now. You obviously said that you came into the wedding industry after having your own successful cleaning business. So if you think right back, we’re going back a bit now to before you started that, why did you start your own business? How did you take the leap to start that own business rather than just working for an employer?

Kelly: Gosh,

that is interesting. One of the biggest factors for me was flexibility of hours. You know, when I first went. Self-employed. My, my kids were really young, so that was a, a massive pull I think with the business and I, I mentioned, I, I think the cleaning business is where I’d say was a proper business for me.

And again, I was actually doing a very similar role as an employee, and I just kept thinking, this is, this is wrong. You shouldn’t be treating customers like this. The whole, the business package. Was was right. There was a great business mind behind it, [00:07:00] but the way that my employer was doing everything to me was completely wrong.

And I just thought, I can do this so much better by myself. And so I did .

Becca: I love that. That is such an entrepreneurial mindset. Sometimes people say to me, How do I know if I’ll be a good entrepreneur? How do I know if I should start my own business? And that’s what I always say. I say, If you are employed and you spend all your employment thinking, I could do this better, or why don’t they do it like this?

Or why don’t they change the way they do this? It would be much more effective then actually. That’s all you need as an attribute to be your own business owner. And so many people I speak to who are now self-employed say that they were just, they couldn’t go back to employment because they’re such bad employees, because they wanna make all the changes and do everything in a better way, which is the beauty of being self employed.

So you called it a proper business. I wanted to say that your celebrant business is a hundred percent a proper business. What do you mean by that?

Kelly: Sorry. I was, I was going back to when I was first self-employed, I was a nail [00:08:00] technician and, and that was really a lot more of a hobby around the children than a business.

That’s, that’s what I was referring back to my celebrant business and I use like exclamation marks. I think because we’re creative people, we kind of forget that it’s a business. Um, yes, this, this is every bit a business as any other I’ve been involved with. But yeah, I was referring back to my nail technician days.

I didn’t have any spreadsheets, I just, you know, went to, did the, the nails, took the money and, and didn’t worry about whether I was actually making any money. .

Becca: Well, you’d be surprised how many people start out in the wedding industry in exactly the same place though, because we find something we love and we enjoy doing it, and sometimes we forget, well actually I could make some money out of this and actually I deserve to be making some money out of this.

And I think it’s also interesting to think about, well, what constitutes a. Business because sometimes when we love it, it doesn’t feel like work for a start, also I think [00:09:00] sometimes, and I know this is the position where you are in yourself, Kelly, that actually you don’t wanna have this huge thing with lots of employees anymore because you’re trying to strip back and have a less stressful life.

And so you feel like, Well, I’m not being a proper business owner because I’m not growing, but actually there’s other ways to define success in your business.

Kelly: Oh, totally. Yeah. I, I completely agree with that. Um, I have got to the stage in life where I’ve got really lovely work life balance for me, that is a success.

Yeah, it’s, it’s really important to find that when you’re able to, I’ve, you know, I’m getting on a bit now, , so I’ve been there, done that. I’ve spent years where I’ve had. Three jobs on the go at once because needs must. But I am really fortunate to have got to the place in life where I’ve got the work balance and I love what I do.

Becca: And that’s a place that every single one of us, I’m sure aspires to be into.

So you [00:10:00] started to celebrant business, You said you did some training as a celebrant. Then what? I meet lots of people that kind of go, I’m gonna do. And then they step out the door and say, I’m a celebrant now I’m a photographer, now I’m a florist. And then they don’t know what to do next. So for you, how did that business journey look like from just deciding you wanted to do it to kind of where you’re at now?

Kelly: Lots of hard work and perseverance is the biggest answer to that. I think. I’m going to say I was lucky. But we do make our own luck, don’t we? So I found your group, Becca, and I know people are gonna think this is really cheesy, but your group was one of. First finds for me back when you were called Engage Weddings, and there was another Facebook group that I also joined, and quite frankly, I, I honestly don’t think I could have got anywhere without the support of all those other businesses that I was [00:11:00] networking with.

People like myself who had just started out and, and lots of other people that had been doing the weddings for years really helped me to grow to what I’ve now got. But it did take a good couple of years of networking before people. Really started to recommend me, whether that was venues or other suppliers.

So it’s, it’s, it’s hard, but it’s just a matter of keep going. Find the right people around you. Don’t be afraid to ask. And never think that you are perfect. There’s always room for improvement. There’s always room for growth and development. Five years on, I’m still doing all those things.

Becca: Yeah, so many good tips in there as well, especially around perseverance.

Cause I think everybody thinks that they need to find success overnight, and we see a lot of that to tempt us, especially on the internet. You know, join this and you’ll find success overnight. But the reality [00:12:00] is, That you do have to put in the hard work and you don’t find the success instantly, but little by little, as you build and you look back over that journey, you can see how it’s grown over time and how those little steps that you’ve put into place have had a big impact on your business.

Now, you talked about being lucky, but I just wanna come back to that because I think it’s interesting, isn’t it? Because you say, Oh, I couldn’t have done it if I hadn’t have found these groups, or These groups really helped. Which I’m sure is true, but there was something in you that went looking for that, that decided you needed to find that kind of community or even to take the step to join in with those kind of things.

So if there’s someone sitting there thinking, Oh, I’d like something like that for myself, what would you say to them?

Kelly: Yeah, you are right. Of course, you do have to think, where are these people? Where am I going to find my couples? And I think that’s all you have to do is put yourself in the mindset of maybe an engaged couple.

Where are they going to be looking for you? How are they going to reach you? And just making sure you’ve [00:13:00] got all those stages in place that if they’re going to Google your name, you are going to come. As high up as you possibly can. Obviously when you’re starting out, that’s really difficult. Just tell as many people as possible who you are, what you do, reach right outside of your comfort zone.

That’s probably the hardest part, is to just really reach right outside of your comfort zone. Make yourself known to people that are also meeting those, those couples. So for me, That would likely be venues. Most couples are going to book their venue before they start looking for other suppliers. So that was kind of where I just kept starting.

I still find it a massive struggle getting in with venues. . So I don’t know what the answer is to that other than just make a nuisance of yourself.

Becca: Keep persevering. The thing with venues, and I probably could do a whole podcast episode [00:14:00] on this, but the thing with venues is there’s such a large turnover of staff.

They’re always changing who’s in charge of their events. They’re always changing what their perception of the wedding industry is. And actually you can have a venue that doesn’t wanna talk to you, and then six months later, All of the staff change, you go back to them and all of a sudden they do. And you can have it the other way around.

So definitely with venues keep persevering and just because it’s a no now or a not yet, or even an ignoring you doesn’t mean in six months time that won’t change. Now, networking I know is something that you are really good at. You’re really great at putting yourself out there. And like you said, you are still seeing that as an important part of your business.

How do you think networking with other wedding professionals and venues. Impacted you. Has it led to bookings? Have you got any examples of how that’s worked out for you?

Kelly: It’s definitely led to bookings, definitely. I couldn’t even count now how many times I’ve had a recommendation from somebody else in the group or somebody I’ve networked with.

And do you know what really amazes me is actually [00:15:00] I have had recommendations. From people I’ve never heard of , because I think you are networking and then the people you are networking with are networking. The name resonates around and the the, the amount of people that come to me, Oh, are you Kelly Hawes?

And I look at them like, Yes. And they’re like, Oh, I, I know you or I follow you, or I’ve heard of you, and. I think that blows my mind all the time. But then I could also say the same that I know people by their business name more than their. Their actual names. Uh, so if they then turn around and say, Oh, I’m so and so from this cake business.

Oh, right. Oh, I do know who you are. . But yeah, the, the networking side of it, um, as, as I say, much as it does take a long time, it’s had a massive impact on my business. I think it’s also had a massive impact on my confidence, um, and also just that support network to [00:16:00] have like-minded people around you. All go through the same business problems and understand our day to day routines, our day to day problems, that in itself is worth its weight in gold to have, You know, here I am working at home on my own, and yet I regard all of these people as my colleagues that I can call upon if I’ve got a problem, and I think that really helps.

Becca: Yeah, it can be so lonely, can’t it otherwise working for yourself and feeling like no one understands it. And I always say, I can have these conversations with my husband, but his eyes will just glaze over because he’s not as interested. Whereas if I sit down with other wedding pros, we can talk for hours about different elements of the wedding industry or what’s going on with the Instagram algorithm, and people find it really fascinating and I think that is absolutely priceless.

The other thing I think is interesting with networking is often you don’t see the fruits of. Either for some time or. Ever because you don’t know where that one conversation you’ve [00:17:00] had at one networking night once or somewhere online has, like you said, ended up through friends of friends of friends of friends.

What you wanna do in this industry, and I say it all the time, is you want to be the name that people think of when they say celebrant. So if you’re listening to this and you’re a cake maker, every time I ask someone, What cake maker do you recommend? You want your name to be first on that list. And the only way to achieve that is.

Being a nice person and being out there and sharing with people. And Kelly, a story I haven’t told you yet. Actually, I was at the National Wedding Show a couple of weekends ago and I was talking to a supplier and I think they were a celebrant themselves, and I said, Oh. And they said, Do you work with any other celebrants?

I said, Yeah, I work with Kelly. I don’t know if you’ve heard of her. She went, Oh, I’ve never met her, but I’ve heard of her everywhere. And it’s exactly. Said, where, you know, people are talking about you, you’ve got stuff online and you don’t quite know how far reaching that is. So network is so important and you’ve gotta keep doing it as well for exactly the reasons I’ve just said.

Now the other thing that I know you do and have done along your journey [00:18:00] is invest in your self as well in your business. Um, whether that’s through the training you did originally through being in my members club, why do you think that’s an important part of being a business?

Kelly: Well, I think really just because there’s nothing that ever stands still.

Everything’s evolving all the time, whether it be trends in weddings or you know, software in business, you can never learn enough is my, in my opinion, you’ve always got something to learn. I mean, in every profession I’ve done through my life, I’ve been on so many training courses, it’s easy to think to yourself, Oh, I’ve talked about sales funnels before.

Why do I need to do this again? But you know what? Even if I sit there thinking, I have done all this before, I can guarantee I will learn at least one more thing or one new way of thinking about something. So for me it is about keeping up with trends. It’s about keeping up with how everyone else is working and just [00:19:00] finding new ways of streamlining what you already.

And sometimes, you know what, it’s a kick up the bum to remind you to do some of these things that you know you should be doing.

Becca: Yes, we definitely all have that. The amount of times I sit in training sessions myself and think I know that and I really should be actually doing it and it makes me go away and and do it.

And especially when you have accountability where you have to tell someone next to you that what you’re gonna do next, it really does make you think, Right. I actually better go and sort that out then because I think we’re always better at telling other people what to do than we are of doing it Our. Now, another thing that happens to me quite a lot in conversations is people say to me that I’m starting out in this and I just don’t know where I’m ever gonna get any inquiries from.

I just don’t know where these people are gonna come from. So now as you look at your business as it is today, where do you find that most of your enquiries are coming from? Do you track where they’re coming from and how does that picture look?

Kelly: Yeah, I, I do track them, which can be difficult because often when you ask [00:20:00] couples, How did you find me?

They just say on the internet, which is not helpful, , but I think. If they say on the internet or from Google, you just know that because you’re in lots of directories because your social media is up to date and you’re doing posts on Google that your name is coming up on those first couple of pages, so that’s great.

But yeah, my enquiries are coming from. All sorts of places, so they never concentrate on just one thing. As I say, the recommendations comes from all sorts of networking or venues that I’ve worked at before or friends of friends of friends. I am in directories. You kind of get the odd one comes in direct from a direct directory, but I think sometimes that could be the first port of call and then they go off and research you forgetting.

That, that’s where they found you in the first place. So yeah, I don’t think there’s any right or wrong places to be. Just show up. Even if, like, I, I use [00:21:00] Instagram a lot more than I ever did, and I still have inquiries coming on Facebook, so I don’t leave it dormant, but I’m not as sort, prolific working on there as I am on Instagram, but it is up to date.

So I, I just think it’s important to just try to be present. In lots of different places. But it doesn’t mean you have to do them all because that’s impossible. .

Becca: Yes. It’s about being visible though, isn’t it? Because I think again, sometimes we are naive. We start a business and we think, Great, I’ll just put an Instagram post up and everyone will come running to me as actually we need to put ourselves in front of the right people in the right places.

And I think it’s interesting when you say, um, your couples say that they come from the internet. You’re right. That probably. Kind of true because I think couples don’t just find you in one place and then inquire. If you’re anything like me, when I’m looking into something, I might find someone on a directory, then I go and look at their Instagram page, then I go and look at their website.

Then I might end up on their YouTube channel and you go round and round and actually you can’t remember [00:22:00] where you started that process. And I think it’s important that we realize that people are looking at us everywhere we go, isn’t it? Because we don’t quite know where they’re coming from. So on that same track, if we’ve got someone starting out either as a celebrant or in the wedding industry in general, what advice would you give to them if they’re sitting there today thinking, I feel like I’m never gonna be where Kelly’s at.

I feel like I’m never gonna have that work life balance. I’m never gonna get the enquiries. I feel like I’m always gonna have to charge real discount rates to get people in. What piece of advice would you give to them?

Kelly: It’s the million dollar question, isn’t it? , I think. The first thing is don’t be looking at me thinking you need to be like me because I’ve made that mistake and that’s quite exhausting.

you, you need to persevere with everything you’re doing and have confidence in yourself that the more I always kind of say this, the more mud you throw at the wall, [00:23:00] eventually some of it will stick it. It’s just that, just keep throwing it out there. Do not expect results overnight, but be true to who you are.

Also, you know, just keep looking at improving everything you you can possibly do. And it goes back to that sort of the way you’ve come across other businesses and how you’ve been treated poorly. Make sure you never do that in your business. Make sure you are there and quick to answer inquiries. You are helpful and you’re not just.

Selling, Selling, selling. I think you need to show your personality that goes as far as networking as it does to talking direct to couples. Yeah. It’s just a matter of keep going, I think, and just try not to be negative to yourself. I think we can be our own worst enemies. And here I am saying this.

I still do all these things myself, as I say, five years in, I still have that self doubt. You still have [00:24:00] wobbles, but I think part of that is because you care so much about what you’re trying to do that, um, you can’t, you can’t always be positive, but you know, that’s why you need to put yourself into check.

Right. Come on, Kelly, We can do this, but try not to compare yourself to others. Is probably the biggest lesson I’ve ever learned. .

Yeah, And that is definitely the one that we’re all having to remind ourselves. All of the time, because it’s such an easy trap to fall into now. You talk about confidence and you talk about how your confidence has grown over the period of your business.

Becca: And I’ve definitely seen your confidence grown, especially when you come to networking nights and you get out there and you meet people. And I know one thing that’s been really exciting for you over the last couple of years, and to me as a demonstration of how your confidence has grown is your TV experience.

We can’t go through this podcast without talking about it, so. If people are listening, Kelly has appeared on the last two now series of married at First Sight as a celebrant. [00:25:00] So first of all, Kelly, if people are wondering how on earth did that happen, tell us the story.

Kelly: Gosh, I wish I knew, but I also have this thing I don’t know if anyone else is like this.

If I say it out loud and tell the universe what it is I want. I can’t tell you how many times it actually comes true , so, Oh, when it, Oh, I can’t even remember when it first happened. My cousin had seen an article that. last year’s series of married at First Sight in the uk was going to use celebrants for the first time because before that they were using registrars.

And I thought, Oh my gosh, this is groundbreaking. You know, pre covid people still didn’t really know what a celebrant was. And so it was still very much about educating people. I thought this is fantastic for celebrants. And then I was like, I have to get myself on that show, . [00:26:00] Um, so I wrote, I emailed. E4 and just put myself out there and I thought, What on earth am I doing?

What am I letting myself in for? But I, I, I think if you have those thoughts come across your mind, don’t think about it. Just do it. And so I did. And then when I had, uh, a reply, an instant reply, I almost fell off my chair until I realized that actually what they’d sent me. An application as a singleton to go on and get married on the show

Um, and I thought, Right, okay, I’m not giving up realize that actually it’s not E4 I need to write to, I need to write to the production company. And I did I found out who they were, wrote to them. I didn’t hear anything and I thought, Oh, well, at least I tried. And you know, I think it was again, out of chance that when they did come to start the series, they’d found their venue.

I happened to live very close to one of the venues that they were going to be [00:27:00] using and. Again, I think I probably just came up on a Google search celebrants in Hertfordshire perhaps. And I got an email out the blue, Hey, have you heard of this show? Were you looking for celebrants? And that was it. Um, I was offered, you know, to come on and do it.

Am I free for the dates? Would I be prepared to do it? And, and that was it. And I think second time around, they probably just approached all the same people again. and, and yes, I snapped their hands off once again, .

Becca: Well, it’s very exciting to see your face on the tv, and I know that it’s been exciting for you.

Just tell us a bit about what the experience of being on that show was like, What was it like being as part of that recording that’s on TV right now? Lots of people have been watching it. What was it like?

Kelly: It’s fascinating. There’s lots of hanging around, uh, with not a lot happening. Lots of little meetings between producers, cameramen.

I did, I did witness sort of rooms being decorated by [00:28:00] florists and all the getting together, but generally I’m kind of. Whisked out the way a little bit because they don’t want me to meet anyone involved. I, I didn’t get to meet the couple, I didn’t get to meet their families before we’re actually in that ceremony room.

Uh, so kind of what you see when that couple walk in, that’s the first time I’m seeing them too. So it was scary. really scary because normally I’m kind of. You know, you tell yourself, right? I’m the expert in the room. I know all about these two. I know what I’m going to be saying, You know, and I know what to expect of them.

And here I am. I’ve had to write something, so I know what I’m saying, but I’ve got no idea if it’s relevant to the couple I’m about to see. And you are added to that. You are surrounded by camera people, sound people, and just all sorts going on in the background. But do you know what, when it came to. Okay, go there.

I am celebrant [00:29:00] doing celebranting. , not Kelly, thinking, Oh my God, I’m gonna be on the telly.

Becca: I just think it’s so incredible and such an exciting experience for you and definitely one to tick off the bucket list. And I think, again, what’s inspiring about that story and something that I love to talk about all the time is if you’re sitting there thinking, Oh, I wish I could be on tv.

I wish I could be on married at first sight. I wish I could do this, that and the other. Yes. Say it out loud. Yes, write it down, and then yes, just do something about it. Like you said, don’t think too much about it. If you send an email and it gets ignored, well you’re no further back, but there’s just a chance that the right person might come across it or we don’t know what happened.

They might have come across that email and then subconsciously remembered your name. We just don’t know. If you’re listening to this, don’t think that this is how it works. You sit at home one day and someone brings you up and asks you to be on the tv. Often. If you want something, you’ve gotta go after it yourself.

And I think it’s incredible that you’ve been on tv. I I get excited every time I see someone [00:30:00] posting about it, and I know that you love talking about it too. So thank you for

sharing.

Kelly: Yeah. I’m sorry. I do talk about it a lot. .

Becca: It’s, it’s fascinating. Kelly, you talk about it as much as you want, because I love hearing about it.

So, Kelly, you’ve done some incredible things. You’ve got your business to kind of where you want it to be in order for you to have that great work life balance. You’ve been on the tv, like I said at the beginning, you’ve won awards. What’s next for you? Have you got any grand plans? Are you just looking to keep your business as it is, or is there a focus that’s gonna change over the next couple of years.

Kelly: I am really happy with how business is going now, but let’s face it, none of us ever know what’s about to hit. We’ve learned a massive lesson with Covid next year for myself and many others I know has been very quiet compared to what we are used to. So I’m still not taking my foot off the gas. I’m still doing all the things I should be doing, but.

What I’m now able to do is to [00:31:00] actually pick and choose a lot more than I ever used to, which couples I’m going to work with. I’ve nailed down the area that I’m willing to travel to. No longer am I going to fly all, all around the country chasing a job. So that for me is really exciting that I’ve, I’ve understood who I am, which couples make me happiest because I can’t ever say that.

I don’t enjoy. All of my weddings, but there are, it is become really apparent to me which ones I love the most and they’re the couples I’m now chasing and anxious to fill my diary with. That’s where my focus is now, is to just put out the right message to find my people.

Becca: Love that. So important and what a great place you’ve got to in your business.

And that’s again, not chance. That’s not luck. Because of the sheer amount of work and networking and time that you’ve put into getting your business to where it is today over the last five years to get you to that position. [00:32:00] Now, lots of wedding pros out there. Are working really hard. We’ve had a busy summer.

People are just left, right center, working at weddings, doing their social media, doing their blogging, all of the other things. And so I have a little segment on this podcast that I like to call Wedding Pros. It’s time to chill out. So, Kelly, when it’s time for you to get away from the business, get away from the work, what do you like to do to just take your mind off?

Kelly: Oh, I mean, it’s easy to think, Gosh, when do I ever get time to chill out? Because like you say, most of us work at least six days a week, but I do make sure that. My housework and everything is, is done way before any wedding weekends, and I, I do now make sure that I have good time off. I love to walk. Uh, so often you’ll find me and my husband walking around , whether it be in the fields, close to home or using our National Trust membership.[00:33:00]

I don’t know if I feel a bit old, but I’m a member of the National Trust , and we love to go off on these walks. And also I found a love of history all of a sudden. Um, and we became members of the, uh, palaces. Uh, I can’t think what it was now called, the Palaces membership. So I think there’s five on there. So we’ve been doing that through the last few months.

Um, that’s been incredible actually. And when we’re not out and about in the outdoors, really, we do like to watch a bit of crime drama. Sort of detective stuff or CSI stuff. That’s, that’s my go to. And uh, of course I’ve been watching Married at First Sight .

Becca: Of course you have. So there we go. There’s Kelly’s TV recommendations, a little bit of crime drama, or of course, if you haven’t yet watched it, make sure you go watch Married at first, like Kelly, which episode are you in? If people wanna go and track it down.

Kelly: Episode five.[00:34:00]

Becca: Here we go. You heard it here first. The celebrity Celebrant Kelly Horse herself, episode five. Go and make sure you’ve watched it and I still haven’t watched it and it is still on my list of things to do. I promise you, and you’ll know when I watch it, Kelly, because I guarantee you, you will be tagged on Instagram the moment I watch it.

Okay, before I let you go, Kelly, there’s one question I always end every podcast with, and that’s when it comes to your own business as you. Back. What’s the one thing that you wish you’d known sooner?

Kelly: I think it goes back to that not comparing yourself with everybody else or anybody else. I really did make that mistake, and I know I was following a celebrant, right?

In the early days. I thought, Oh my goodness, She’s amazing. And, and you know, I was, I loved watching her. Uh, every day I’d be watching her stories and then I just felt really inferior all of a sudden because there she was being all wonderful and I hadn’t even got a booking. And [00:35:00] then, I don’t know there was one, I watched something and there was just a way about her.

I thought, Oh, but I’m not like that. And then, I don’t know the penny clicked. I thought, No, I’m not like that. So actually, The couples that are looking to book her are not couples that are going to be looking for me. So I took myself off the stories , I’m not gonna keep following this, this. I mean, she’s a wonderful celebrant.

I don’t know what she’s doing these days. She’s not in my area. Yeah. I just took myself out of that situation and then focused on just being myself and realizing. , that, I am enough, . And there’s, you know, it’s about matching now couples to celebrants. And I think that’s really important just to be who you are and that your right people will find you.

Becca: Yes. And you are enough. That’s what it says behind me on my desk. Whenever I go live, my sign says, You are enough. I saw this quote as well, um, on Instagram the other day, [00:36:00] Kelly, that I thought you’d enjoy before we finish, which was this, Don’t let your ice cream melt while counting somebody else’s sprinkles.

I thought that was brilliant and I think that’s so true when it comes to comparisonitis, because we. So sucked into comparing ourselves and looking at what other people are doing, that we actually lose sight and let go of what we’re doing ourselves. Kelly, it’s been an absolute pleasure to talk to you. I’ve loved getting to know you and watching your business grow and bloom over the last five years, and of course, ending up on the TV as well.

If people wanna find out more about you, Kelly, where can they find.

Kelly: Well, I’m on Instagram and Facebook at Kelly h Celebrant, or my website is kelly h celebrant.co.uk.

Becca: Fabulous, and I will make sure I put all of Kelly’s links in the show notes below, and if you do want to reach out to her, she is lovely and so approachable. I’m sure she would love to connect with you. Kelly, thanks for your time today.

Kelly: Thanks Becca.

Becca: Kelly, her story is so inspiring and hearing all about the behind the scenes of married at first sight is pretty cool [00:37:00] too. If after today’s episode you want to get serious about growing your wedding business and connect with like-minded pros, including Kelly, then why not check out my Wedding Pro members lounge, which she’s part of.

The joining link is in the show notes below, and the great news is if you use the Code podcast, you get the first month for just one pound. I would love to see you there. I’ll be back on next week’s podcast. I’ll see you then.

Becca xo

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