Show notes:
In this weeks episode, we explore the question: How can new wedding businesses make a good impression? Through Vim’s journey from registrar to celebrant, it becomes clear that confidence, authenticity, and showing up consistently are key. Vim shares honest insights into the challenges of starting out, the importance of investing in the right support, and how embracing what makes you different can become your greatest strength.
Time stamps:
00:20 – Introduction to the Wedding Pros Podcast
10:05 – Transitioning from Employment to Self-Employment: The Journey of a Celebrant
10:11 – Starting a New Chapter: Transitioning from Registrar to Celebrant
23:25 – Embracing Visibility and Authenticity on Social Media
36:57 – Embracing Inclusivity in Spaces
Transcript:
Vim
00:00:00.240 – 00:00:19.200
Just have to remember that you deserve to be in that space. Right? If it’s a, if it’s a ticket price you’ve paid, you’ve paid the same as everyone else.
If it’s a dream, you have to run a certain business or to make your business grow, that’s your dream and it’s deserving of being seen to its, you know, to its maximum fruition and fulfillment.
Becca
00:00:20.080 – 00:01:15.830
I’m Becca Poutney, wedding business marketing expert, speaker and blogger and you’re listening to the Wedding Pros who Are Ready to Grow podcast. I’m here to share with you actionable tips, strategies and real life examples to help you take your wedding business to the next level.
If you are an ambitious wedding business owner that wants to take your passion and use it to build a profitable, sustainable business doing what you love, then you’re in the right place. Let’s get going with today’s episode. Today I’m chatting with Vim Ziambe, an award winning celebrant behind forever loved celebrancy.
Four years into her business and Vim has already achieved a huge amount, even appearing. Let me say that again.
Four years into her business and Vim has already achieved a lot, even appearing as a celebrant on the BBC show the Ultimate Wedding Planner. Having been born and raised in Zimbabwe, she knows that she’s underrepresented in the celebrant space, but she’s turned that into her superpower.
I cannot wait to hear her story. Vim, welcome to the podcast.
Vim
00:01:16.070 – 00:01:18.150
Hi listeners. Lovely to be here.
Becca
00:01:18.800 – 00:01:38.080
It is so good to have you. I’m really excited to find out more about you, about your background, about everything you’ve done in your business so far.
But before we get there, I always like to take my listeners back. So as I said in the intro, you were born and raised in Zimbabwe.
Tell me about that because I imagine it’s a very different experience to being born and raised in the UK.
Vim
00:01:38.960 – 00:02:50.350
It definitely is. I came over when I was 17, so yeah, so my first half of my life was in Zimbabwe. I was very fortunate that I went to a boarding school.
And the boarding school we had the same curriculum as the United Kingdom, which meant that we did the same type of gcses, the same type of A levels. So when I came over my as far as education, the background was already there, or at least the foundation was there.
And it also meant that I speak like this because we were forced to speak like this.
Of course, English is the main language in Zimbabwe, but the accent comes from how having to speak properly at all times, so much so that people think I’m putting this voice on. I’m like, no, this is. This is how I speak. Yes. I live in Yorkshire. Lived in Yorkshire for 20 years.
For some reason, this is so ingrained that I can’t pick up anything else. So it’s been.
Yeah, like I said, I’m used as my superpower because I know most of my couples book me because they want someone will be able to enunciate so, someone who sounds clear, someone who really understands verse, prose, diction. And that’s where I’ve slotted myself in.
Becca
00:02:50.590 – 00:03:02.350
Love it. And culturally, I mean, I know very little about Zimbabwe and what it’s like.
What do you think are some of the cultural differences between growing up in that country and being over here now in the uk?
Vim
00:03:02.510 – 00:03:52.860
To be fair, we’re very similar because we’re colonized by the British. So so much like I said, the education is similar. We all love a cup of tea. Very common in Zimbabwe.
I do not know anyone who’s Zimbabwe who doesn’t like a cup of tea. Same with the drinking culture. So that’s also the same. And then all the other languages that we speak are all secondary languages.
So you’ll find that if you land.
If you were to go to Zimbabwe today and were to visit the capital city, Harare, you would find so much of it looks exactly the way it would in London. It’s just this unknown fact by people maybe, who aren’t. Who haven’t traveled to Africa much or have traveled to different parts of Africa.
But when we’re talking southern Africa and Zimbabwe specifically, our cultures are very different and very similar. I’ll say that again. Our cultures are very similar.
Becca
00:03:53.180 – 00:04:06.460
Very similar to the uk, but, you know, Africa is a huge place. I think we can lump people into. Oh, they’re from Africa, but I’ve been to Kenya and Tanzania.
They are, I imagine, like, very, very different countries to Zimbabwe.
Vim
00:04:07.420 – 00:04:09.020
Very, very different. Yes.
Becca
00:04:09.180 – 00:04:16.540
Okay. So what brought you to the UK? You said you moved to the UK at 17. What made you come here? Was it family? Was it work? What was going on?
Vim
00:04:16.700 – 00:05:28.910
Yeah, it was actually family. My mom passed away and my older sister became our guardian. So I was 17 and all my sisters were much younger than me.
And so part of for Will was that we were going to live with her, with my sister, and she was already in England. She had been to university and then she’d started a job. So we all came over and she became our guardian, as it were.
I Mean, obviously I was only a year from being 18, so I’ve kind of lived my own life since then. But it was the best decision, the best thing my mom put in place, the best decision ever made.
Because all our lives have just been spectacular because of it. I found England again because of the similarities. It feels like home. I’ve always felt very welcome.
Like I said, I live in Yorkshire and you would assume, or at least the assumption sometimes when I say I’m from Yorkshire, people will think that it’s not a place where I would be welcome or comfortable. But I’ve stayed here for two decades because I’ve always felt it. My kids have grown up, they’ve gone to school here.
My daughter’s now working locally. The thought of London to her, why would I. So for me, it was the best thing ever. Best decision ever. Definitely.
Becca
00:05:28.910 – 00:05:44.670
I love that. So you came to London, Huge life shift in many, many areas of your life. A big step.
How did you get from being there, coming as a 17 year old into the UK to working in weddings? Where’s the gap? What’s missing there?
Vim
00:05:44.990 – 00:08:03.500
So I think the gap is filled quite easily because my first job was with the local council and I was a housing officer. And at the time when you worked for the council on a Friday, you would get first dibs, as it were, for jobs.
And because I used to drive a lot as a housing officer and I hate driving, I would always be on the lookout for a job that was just less. That required less driving and a job came up for a registrar.
And with what it was looking for, as far as being able to speak publicly, the qualifications you needed, it all seems to align perfectly, except I had no experience.
So I just thought again, shooting my shot, I thought I would just apply, applied, went for an interview and 10 years in that role, the rest is history. So became a registrar, did weddings for 10 years.
The last five years I was only doing weddings rather than the birth and death registrations because I just had this knack for it.
I was just really good at being able to present what should be a really boring, standard legalized ceremony, but use my personality to still make the couple feel like. I’m glad we got Vim as our registrar.
I know we had no choice, but I’m glad she’s the one who turned up because our ceremony just sounded lighter, brighter. I’ll try and make jokes if I can because I have a thing where I can pick up on people’s energy quite quickly.
So if they make a joke, as when I walk in if the bridegroom or the groom and groom, whatever it is, makes a joke, I kind of can tell what their humor is going to be like. So even though I can’t veer from the. I couldn’t veer from the legalized ceremony.
I could then insert my own jokes based on what their humor was and it would usually play really well, play out really well. So that’s it.
So 10 years doing that and then heard about wedding celebrency and just thought that sounds like a job that was made for me because it means one, I can do anything, I can say anything, I can infuse my entire personality and then use their personality completely to bring the ceremony to life. So it did take me a while, but here I am four years in again, best decision ever. Because yeah, business is good. Business is good. Becca.
Becca
00:08:03.500 – 00:08:24.960
I’m really pleased to hear it. And it’s interesting, isn’t it?
Because you’ll know, particularly in the celebrant world, sometimes there’s a bit of beef between registrars and celebrants. There’s a bit of a misunderstanding. Sometimes they don’t like each other. Well, you have that unique experience that you’ve lived both.
So what do you think are some of the key differences between being a registrar and being an independent celebrant?
Vim
00:08:25.120 – 00:09:42.470
I think the main one that people talk about is the fact that of course it’s a legal ceremony. So the script has to be standard, the wording has to be standard. And you know, there’s no personalization because it has to be.
If you’re getting legally married, it has to be the exact same way it’s been set up by the government. And then the second difference would be you don’t get to meet the registrar. And so for.
Just because you’re getting married doesn’t mean you’re not an anxious person or it doesn’t make you all of a sudden have this courage to stand in front of people, even if it is your family and friends. So the beauty of having an independent celebrant is you get to choose and connect with that person.
So you know, on the day that person is holding your hand, as it were.
And then of course the personalization, when you know what your ceremony is going to sound like, you know, the type of vibe it will have, you know, the jokes it will have. You can personalize the vows you say to each other when you say them, how you say them. That all just. It makes it a no brainer between the two.
The differences are so massive that I just, I just wish everyone knew what a celebrant does, not just me, just what a celebrant does and uses us. Because it is just. Yeah, like I said, no brainer. For so many reasons. Effy.
Becca
00:09:42.550 – 00:10:24.700
And although it’s a no brainer in terms of personality and what you can do and for couples actually from a personal point of view it was probably quite elite because a registrar was presumably, you know, a solid job with a solid income. Being a celebrant, I assume you’re self employed and it’s like. And so actually you had to take a leap from employment to self employment.
So just talk me through that. Did that happen overnight? Did you kind of phase yourself in? Was it you got to stop being a registrar to become a celebrant.
Or you could do a bit of both. Like just talk me through that.
Because I think quite often that’s a big leap for people when they’re in a full time job, whether that’s in weddings or not to try and go, no, but I really want to do this over there. But that feels very scary.
Vim
00:10:25.100 – 00:12:27.830
Thank you so much for acknowledging it. Because I don’t really talk about it. I’m such a positive person. That’s that I’ve. I tend to kind of.
I don’t talk about those first two years and they were the hardest of my life as far as income and employability because you couldn’t be.
So all the way the register offices are set up is the superintendent registrar is the boss, as it were and she makes decisions on whether someone can leave a job and maybe work part time and then become a celebrant. My particular registrar office and the registrar I worked under, those two things are conflict of interest as well as she’s concerned.
She doesn’t want us going out as registrars, having maybe the guests really like the ceremony and then future couples not going to the registrar office and deciding to have a celebrant led ceremony. So you can’t be a celebrant and a registrar.
So when I approached her with, you know, my idea and this was the information she gave me, it was at that point that I had to make a decision to do. I just believe that I will find my couples, I will find my tribe, as it were and take the leap of faith and leave a solid job.
Or do I, you know, or do I stay in employment because I am still fortunate, I’m still part of weddings in a way. I’m part of ceremonies in a way. It might not be my full creative Desire that I’m fulfilling, but I’m still in it.
But I just thought, I’ve waited long enough and life has been good to me generally, so why not just, yeah, better myself? And it was around Covid, So again, ceremonies had stopped, weddings had stopped. So I had a lot of time to really think about this decision. So.
And that’s what I did. I looked up some training, found a great training company they call the Celebrants Collective. I’ll shout their names from the rooftops.
The training was all virtual because of COVID and did my training, got certified, gave notice, so resigned from my job and the rest is history. This is it.
Becca
00:12:28.230 – 00:12:54.480
Yeah.
And I think it’s really important we acknowledge that because it’s really easy for us to have a conversation and look back and go, I’m really glad I did it. But in that moment, and there’ll be people listening who are right in that moment, it’s really difficult. It’s really hard to know what to do.
And it’s tough. And I think it’s important that we talk about those tough times as well as the good things. So you did it, you left your job, you did your training.
Like, how did you get your first booking? Like, where, where did it come from?
Vim
00:12:54.720 – 00:15:15.410
So I did my job and I found. So. So next thing I needed, I thought was obviously a website because how are people going to find me?
Found this, really found something online, a really cheap website builder.
It’s built by students, so you pay a nominal amount, built this website, left it parked, and then just started going out to different venues in the area. So there are lots of venues where that I would know as a registrar in my area.
And of course, because they’re licensed for registrars, I knew that it was, you know, it’s a huge ask to say if anyone wants a celebrant ceremony. And I know you loved me working there as a registrar in that capacity.
Please just know that I’m now a celebrant and if you ever have any dates that the registrars can fulfill, please give them my details now. I knocked on so many doors and made. Yeah.
And just those relationships that I’d cultivated over those years are the ones that I went and, you know, and hoped they would, you know, come to fruition, that they would help me out.
And it was, it was too big an ask, unfortunately, because as much as you’re a celebrant because of the league, because of what venues have to pay to be licensed for registrars, they just feel like the money that they pay so that people can get married legally. So for them, what do they gain from having a celebrant? So it was that that I couldn’t really explain at the time.
I’m not so much better explaining and we’ll talk about it. But yeah, it took me a while to get that first booking. When it did finally come, it had come just from Google.
Someone on Google sent me an email saying, I’ve just seen your website, it’s come up but the inquiry form isn’t working. I’ve sent you an email instead because you’ve got your email address on the website. Are you available to do our wedding on so and so date?
I was like, what? Wait, first of all, what’s wrong with the inquiry form?
And then yeah, so we got in touch, they got in touch with, we connected, they booked me and from that booking they just, yeah, it just followed on from there. I mean there was a lot of work but I know we don’t have time. There was a lot of marketing I had to do.
I had to eventually find a business coach, I to eventually get rid of that website that wasn’t working and upgraded and invest in one. But that’s all, I guess a story for another day.
Becca
00:15:15.410 – 00:15:52.810
Yeah. Although it’s, it’s important because again I think we learn from those mistakes.
And that actually brings me on to my next question around what mistakes have you made? Because I think sometimes when we reflect on our mistakes it stops someone else making them.
Now obviously one mistake was your website inquiry form wasn’t working. And I wish that was an unusual story but I hear it a lot.
I say to people, at least a couple of times a year, check your inquiry form because although this person went out of their way to email you, there could have been other people that tried and just never got in touch with you because the form was broken and it’s such a simple mistake. What other mistakes did you make? Are there things you look back and you think, oh, I wouldn’t do that
Vim
00:15:52.810 – 00:18:03.690
again, oh, 100% going out and just assuming that people would that because they liked me in the capacity of a registrar that these venue owners or the people that run these venues would happily just, you know, help me business wise when there is, you know, it’s still a business, what do they have to gain? And the website was a big mistake besides the inquiry form and not checking it, trying to do things cheaply.
If I can say that sometimes if you’re selling something that you know is a luxury to most people because it is when you hire a wedding celebrant to a certain degree it is a luxury because if you’re wanting your, your legal ceremony, you’re still going to go to the register office, do the statutory ceremony and then, and then pay your wedding celebrant to then officiate or to conduct your ceremony elsewhere.
So if you’re expecting people to spend money for a service that is luxury, then how are you not investing the same, you know, money, effort into something that you’re expecting them to. So website was a big one. Business coach again, assuming that because I was a registrar that I knew so much, it is still a business that I’m running.
I’ve been employed all my life, first time I’ve ever run a business.
The naivete to think that I could run a business because I knew that I loved English literature and poetry and loved vows and people that’s, you know, that’s beautiful, it’s great, it’s a great fairy tale. But really, business wise, you need someone, you need someone who’s a coach.
You need to have them, not just for the first month or two, let them guide you. They’re worth their weight in gold.
And that’s where we come to how we connected because I had Lena de la Luna and she was the best thing, honestly, she was the most amazing thing that ever happened to me.
Bumping into her at a networking event and she’s one half of a photography team and she mentioned that she had just started her coaching business and that conversation was the deal breaker. I know that I owe so much of my success to Lena because I finally decided that I needed to invest more in me and my business.
Becca
00:18:03.850 – 00:19:13.860
Yeah. And I think it’s that same thing. There’s a couple of things in what you say there. You know, we always say buy cheap, buy twice.
You know, we, we can put up a really cheap website but ultimately eventually, you know, it’s going to let us down and we probably do need to invest, but that’s hard. We don’t always have the money up front.
And I think the second thing about the naivety, I think sometimes a bit of naivety is a good thing because actually if we know everything, we wouldn’t quit the job and go into being a celebrant because we would be way too scared.
But you’re right, if there’s things that we can do or we’ve got money to invest in a coach and someone who can guide us through those things that we don’t know because, you know, I talk about it a lot. You know, I’m no good at doing hair or doing a ceremony or baking a cake, but I can help you with the business side of things.
You may be an amazing celebrant or registrar, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you have a business mindset. And I think having someone help you actually opens doors and just gets you there quicker. It doesn’t.
It’s not because you’re not good enough, if that makes sense. So a little bit of naivety is good, but there’s definitely wisdom in getting some help along the way as well.
So right now, in your business then, Vim, where if you were to describe to me your current client base, like where do you sit in the market? Are you, you know, mid market? Who. Who are the people that you’re working with now?
Vim
00:19:14.020 – 00:21:15.700
See, honestly, it’s going to sound. I’m going to have to say it’s a mix.
That’s honestly the truth because my last ceremony was in Cape Town and that was a destination wedding and the couple are based in England and they found me here and flew me out to Cape Town and I officiated their ceremony. The one before that was a couple based in the United States.
Their wedding planner in France found me because of our similar cultural backgrounds and they flew me out to France. But the wedding before that was right down the road at this gorgeous luxury hot tub lodge retreat.
This couple got engaged there a couple of years ago and they decided to get married. What is to elope on the grounds of that same retreat. And that was 10 minutes down the road for me.
And the reason they booked me or hired me again is because they really care about poetry and the words that they say to each other and because that’s what my selling point is. That’s why they booked me.
So when I say it’s a mix, I mean it’s a mix because whether it’s because of my cultural background or similarities with a couple, or whether it’s because I travel so much, so a couple who’s traveling really further afield will know that logistically I won’t be a problem or whether it is just down the road because someone wants the poetic side of what I bring to a ceremony, that’s where I’m finding that when I said to you that, when I spoke earlier, when I said that my superpower has become these things that are different about me. The fact that I was born in Zimbabwe, then live in England.
So I understand the cultural differences and I understand, I understand so much about different weddings as far as culture Multi faith location. And so I’m finding that different couples are finding me and wanting me for different. For those differences that are in me.
The things that I thought, you know, would not give me a solid place in the market are exactly the things that are making me shine in this industry.
Becca
00:21:16.180 – 00:21:45.170
Love that we’re going to come on to that a little bit more in a minute for sure, because I think there’s loads more questions I could ask you in that area. So you say you’re a mix now.
There’ll be people listening who are Vim four years ago, they’ve just quit their job, they want to be a celebrant, they’re naively going to venues who are turning them away and they’re feeling like, is anything ever going to work for me? So when you look at your current client base, where are they coming from? What marketing activities work for you right now?
How are you generating your inquiries? And be completely honest.
Vim
00:21:45.330 – 00:23:44.580
Social media, I think that’s. And social media is free. So I think the best thing you can do for anyone, of course, get a proper website, check your inquiry form.
Like Becca says, it’s so important because exactly like you said, imagine the amount of people that might have been put off by it and not inquired at all.
Even if they had found my website, I still think they might have not found it because I’ve only just found out about SEO, but that’s a conversation for another day. So I would say most of my couples find me on social media.
They might not send me the inquiry from social media, but my social media, once they found it or once they’ve seen what I provide or who I am, it then brings them to the website where they then fill in an inquiry form, which is working, of course. So I think for anyone who’s feeling like, where do I go? I’ve been to the venues, I’ve knocked on as many doors as I can.
Just start posting because people buy people.
And so if you know that you’ve got this enthusiasm and this excitement for this job and this role in this business that you’re undertaking, share it with the world because you’ll find people have been so. They’ve been so welcoming.
I’m not great with admin, I’m really not great with all this stuff, but people will book me and will know that I’m not great with that other stuff and won’t care because they’re still. They’ve booked Vim, they know Vim is showing up and Wade matters. Vim is putting our ceremony together. Vim is helping us write the vows.
Vim is writing this poem for us. That’s what matters now. Whether she connects on Zoom straight away or needs to be told what to cook or whatever, that doesn’t matter.
And so that’s what I would say to anyone. Starting social media is so important. Visibility is so important. Get online, get on all the different platforms and just talk.
Talk about who you are, talk about why you’re doing what you’re doing, share your passion with the world and then just. And watch people come to you.
Becca
00:23:44.740 – 00:24:04.720
So what are you doing on social media? Because I’m talking a lot at the moment about how social media has shifted.
I’ve got this brand new talk I’ve been doing called what the social media has happened. Because social media has changed so much in the last couple of years. Is all video focused. So what are you doing? Are you going on video?
Are you making reels? Are you going on stories like how are you reaching new people, how people finding you?
Vim
00:24:05.440 – 00:25:36.290
This is where a business coach was amazing. So again, I’ll talk about Lena just really quickly. And she had. She basically said, so you’ve got seven days in the week.
Schedule something different for every single day. So as far as reels, post carousels, do everything but, but do it knowing that on a Monday, I’m gonna.
It’s definitely the day I post a fun fact about registrar versus celebrant. On a Tuesday, it’s definitely going to be a real. Whether it’s a venue I’ve attended or my last ceremony or.
Or talking to another vendor that I met on a, on a, at a wedding or when I was officiating a ceremony. Make sure that you do. You’re using everything you can because different people will enjoy different things. Some people will absolutely love a real.
You know, it’s short, it’s quick, you put some music on there, it’s entertaining. Some people really want to look at posts, you know, reviews. They want to read what your last couple said.
So that’s important to them rather than, you know, seeing the last venue you were at. So try everything. And that’s exactly what I do. I really have no idea what works.
I know if you look at the stuff in the back, as far as Instagram is concerned, for example, it has insights. So to tell you what performed well or what performs well or when people clicked on this, I really don’t get caught up in all the statistics.
I just think as long as I’m showing up authentically as often as I possibly can, then I know I’m doing the work. And so that’s. And it’s been working, clearly.
Becca
00:25:36.530 – 00:26:08.640
And you know what, as a marketeer myself, I don’t need to go and look at your stats to know what’s working for you.
I can guarantee without ever looking at any of your social media posts, what’s working for you and what’s making you stand out is the fact that you are boldly and unapologetically being yourself and showing up as you.
Because it’s your personality that’s infectious and your no nonsense attitude and you know, just the way you’re not afraid to say, yeah, I don’t do technology, but I’ll give you a great ceremony. Like, I guarantee that’s what’s making people resonate with you on social media.
Vim
00:26:08.720 – 00:26:10.800
Oh, that’s great. Thank you for saying that.
Becca
00:26:11.120 – 00:26:33.810
Thank you so much.
Let me just talk about those weddings you mentioned because you said these glamorous things about people flying you out to Cape Town and taking you to France. And people are probably listening and thinking, well, how could I ever do that?
So did those people find you on social media or were they, you know, networking contacts? Is it a planner you’ve met at an event somewhere that’s put you forward? Like, just give us the nuts and bolts.
How do these things come into Vim’s life?
Vim
00:26:34.130 – 00:29:37.680
Okay, so in real life, examples, the one in France, the one in Bordeaux in October, that wedding planner found me on Instagram.
She sent me a DM on Instagram and she said she was looking for a particular celebrant which she knows from being a wedding planner they don’t have in Bordeaux. So she thought she’d look at the uk and this is a conversation I had with her when she inquired because I again, just stopped being scared to ask.
I used to be so, so grateful for the booking or the inquiry that I wouldn’t want to ask where they found me because I don’t want them to say, I don’t know, we found you on so and so. And then I think, oh, I’m cringing at that reel that I posted. I can’t believe that’s where you found me.
So I always just felt like just be grateful for it. But obviously that’s not. Again, that’s not the way business works.
If you know where they found you, then you know what to keep putting, to keep investing in. So she found me on social media and that’s because, again, I was visible.
She said she’d been following, she’d been following me for a few months I had a notice to follow. So it meant that the fact that I continued to show up in different ways, she made a decision that this person seems right for my couple.
But before I introduce it to my couple, I will inquire with her, find out how much she, you know, what she, what she, what she provides, what she charges, and then I’ll pass her on if it’s a great fit as far as everything else, but personality wise, that’s where it started. So again, when I say show up, it’s so important to the one down the road. I knocked on that door when I first started.
I knew that there was this luxury hot tub, lodge, retreat and they were always posting, they were always posting proposals. Now how people would go for the weekend and that get proposed. And so I googled them and checked, do they have a license for weddings? No.
Do they do weddings? No. So on a Sunday, took my business cards, drove the 45 minutes out there, knocked on their door and introduced myself.
I literally said, hi, I’m Vim, I live locally, I love you space. And I have just, and I’ve just been certified as a wedding celebrant.
And I think your space, especially the place where people get engaged, would be great for micro weddings or elopements. And she said, come in, let’s talk more because it’s been on our mind to one day do it. And so maybe this is it. That was four years ago.
This year, six of my couples are from that place because I’ve become their resident celebrant.
So as soon as a couple inquires to get married there, they automatically send the inquiry to me and say, we work with Vim, you don’t have to, but we know her, she’s great. She now knows our space and this is what she charges. So we would highly recommend her and every single couple they send to me, book with me.
So, yeah, it’s been a mix. It’s a mix of where I get my couples. Some of it was my work. Well, all of it is my work in a way. Right.
Because even if it’s Instagram, it’s all my work. But also, like I said, when you show up, then people know you exist. So show up, be visible.
Becca
00:29:38.000 – 00:31:01.440
You know what’s really interesting, hearing your story there, it kind of takes me full circle to something you said earlier because you talked about when you first qualified and you went knocking on venue doors and you were naive in that you were going to them thinking, well, they like me, therefore they want to support my business. And if we look at the heart of that.
Where that didn’t quite work is because really we are knocking on the door asking for something for ourselves that they don’t need to give.
Whereas in your second example where you talk about the venue, you’d seen something in what they had and you actually were going to give, you were going to inspire, you were going to tell them they had this great opportunity, you could help them with it. And so although it feels like the same thing, it’s a very different experience. And I think, you know, it’s something I teach all the time.
When we want to partner with people, we need to think about what we can give and not what we can take. And I think, you know, two very similar experiences that, but with a totally different mindset and therefore a totally different outcome.
So in the intro to today’s podcast Vim, one of the things I talked about was how you feel like you are underrepresented in the celebrant industry. You have an African heritage. And we do see that. Actually a lot of celebrants that I come across are white, maybe middle aged women.
And you definitely don’t fit into the same demographic. So like you said, you use that as your superpower.
So talk to me more about how you, you’re using that and leaning into it rather than being afraid of it.
Vim
00:31:01.440 – 00:32:37.390
Yeah, I think again, this comes from networking.
I would walk into a networking space and, you know, almost everyone didn’t look like me, which meant that I had to not only be confident in who I am, confident in the fact that I deserve to be in that space, but I also use the fact that people maybe underestimate me and I’m not in this definite.
It’s not coming from any other reason, except if you don’t look like what we’re used to, then we’re not sure if you can offer what other people, what, what the people were used to, would offer. So I would make it a point to speak a lot.
So I would force myself to introduce myself to as many people in a room as possible one, so that they could hear, you know, my enthusiasm for what I do. I would talk very deeply about how I construct a ceremony.
And when I say deeply, I mean this poem that I keep talking about that I, that I write for all of my couples. It is something that is very creative. It’s definitely a talent, not just a skill that I have. But no one will know you have it by just looking at you.
So talk about your, you know, talk about your powers. So I think, yeah, so it’s that. It’s people expecting me not to be who I am.
I use that to my advantage to then make them think, ah, I didn’t realize that, you know, you do this or that you’re in this role, and I don’t. I didn’t realize that you offer this on top of what other people offer. So my superpower, like I said, it’s just that.
It’s just letting people underestimate me, but then making sure that by the time I leave their space, they know exactly who I am and what I offer.
Becca
00:32:37.390 – 00:33:52.300
Yeah. And to be honest, what a shame that people do underestimate you, because they absolutely should not.
And I think, you know, like you say, you don’t think that’s a. It’s not a personal thing, you know, it’s a.
It’s maybe just where we are in society, but we ought to be doing more to break that down and for that not to. To be a thing.
Because why should we be, you know, thought of as, you know, underestimated just because of our culture, our background, our religion, what we look like? Like, absolutely not. We should be judged on our own merit. And, you know, for many people, they would back away in a situation like that.
And what I love about you is you’re the opposite. You’re like, no, do not underestimate me. Here I am.
You know, and we feel that sometimes, even as women, just as a gender thing, you know, that’s the only thing I can relate to in that. But, you know, you can go in a space and people see you as a woman and think, well, I’m not. I can’t learn anything from her. Which is ridiculous.
And so I also understand that in that sense, that point of, like, we’re having to work harder all the time to prove ourselves and prove our worth, and that, that can be exhausting as an industry as a whole.
I do think we still have a massive problem with representation, both in terms of, like, representing couples from different cultures and backgrounds who are getting married. In your opinion, what can we do better as an industry as a whole?
Vim
00:33:52.540 – 00:35:40.640
When I did my training, I actually, I trained with the Celebrants Collective because they were looking to train more black people or people from an African or Caribbean background. Because, like you said, there’s not enough. There’s not enough celebrants that look like me.
And yet, obviously, there’s people like me who are very good at what I do. And I think that’s what we need as an industry.
I think we need to, you know, training centers and giving people jobs, giving them to people who don’t look like what people would expect, so that we can then over time change that narrative.
If I was in a room of, you know, 200 people and someone said, I’m looking for a wedding celebrant and I can tell who the wedding celebrant in this room is, it is very unlikely that someone would point at me and expect me to be doing that role. So I would love the shift.
You know, I would love to see a shift in more companies like the Celebrants Collective, saying we, we offer this discounted training for people maybe from which they do a lower income background. Sorry, a lower income household with a different background because we want more representation in the wedding industry. That’s.
I mean, that’s the reason why I’m sat here talking to you today. They offered me something that I would have never been able to afford, something that I didn’t know was available for someone like me.
And because they set me up in that way, I can now paid forward, as it were. And it is something that I really. Yeah. As part of, as part of my goal in life, I definitely want to eventually have some sort of.
Some sort of either like mentorship or training programs where someone who looks like me can come under my wing so that more people who look like me can be out there representing us. That makes sense.
Becca
00:35:40.720 – 00:36:57.350
Yeah, it makes perfect sense.
And I think, you know, something I’ve been thinking about as well is I think we all need to do better at putting ourselves in each other’s spaces because, you know, sometimes, you know, we’re surrounded. You know, if I go to an event and everyone at that event who’s chosen to attend it looks like me, then they’re the only people I can network with.
Not because I don’t want to network outside of that, but if they’re the only people that come into the room, there is nowhere else for me to talk to them. And so I think it’s on both of us. I think we need to go into more rooms that we feel uncomfortable.
I think we need to be in more rooms where there’s less people that look like us and more people that look different. But that’s.
That works both ways, you know, So I need people to come into my rooms, to come into my spaces, to come to my events from all different cultural backgrounds so that I can meet people and open my own experience and have different voices on my podcast, different voices on my stages, because I’ve got to know people in different ways. But if you don’t come into the room and shoot your shot, as we’ve been saying all the way through, like, that’s really difficult.
And on the same wavelength, I’ve got to put myself in other rooms, speak at different events, and get to know people in different ways as well.
So, you know, if people are listening and thinking, oh, that feels a bit scary, Vim, I don’t want to go into a room of people that maybe aren’t like me, don’t have the same heritage, don’t look like me. How would you encourage them to do more of that?
Vim
00:36:57.590 – 00:38:23.410
I think 100%, you just have to remember that you deserve to be in that space. Right? If it’s a, if it’s a ticket price you’ve paid, you’ve paid the same as everyone else.
If it’s a dream, you have to run a certain business or to make your business grow, that’s your dream and it’s deserving of being seen to its, you know, to its maximum fruition and fulfillment. So you deserve it.
And once you walk in that space in that belief, you will know that in any room, no matter how it makes you feel, you deserve to be there. So make the most of it when you’re there, because that’s another thing, right?
When I first started and the way I would have met Leena is I would walk into the space. I’m qualified to be in this space. I’ve paid to be in this space. But now I’m stood there feeling like.
But I really don’t feel like this is a space where I feel comfortable. Force yourself, force yourself to have those conversations. You’ll find people are much more warm and welcoming than you realize.
But you do have to put the work in as far as introducing yourself, speaking about what you do, making sure that people don’t just remember you for being that you know that the only black face or the only, you know, one with from an African heritage in their space, let them say, yes, she’s black and she’s from an African background, but she’s a fantastic celebrant. And these poems that she writes, have you seen her reviews?
Have you seen her social media leave them with much more to talk about than who you walked into that space as 100% agree.
Becca
00:38:23.410 – 00:39:29.030
And I think sometimes we carry those feelings into a space and then we sort of self reflect so we may feel uncomfortable.
What we need to remember is probably everyone in that space is feeling uncomfortable for their own reasons, whether they’re a bit shy, whether they feel like someone’s better than them at something, their prices aren’t good enough.
You know, we all feel uncomfortable in different spaces, but we need to lean into what you have said throughout this conversation, like, just go in as yourself. You deserve to be there no more or no less than anyone else. I talk about this a lot on my podcast.
I hate it if anyone thinks that they can’t come succumb to anything I ever do because they’re not good enough. Like, everyone is good enough to be in my space. There is no levels you can be earning multi millions of pounds or ten pounds. I do not care.
If you want to be there to learn and to grow and to network, come into the space and don’t put your own worries ahead of that. Now, if you’re going into a space that the person leading it does not feel that way, then that might not be a space you want to be in anyway.
And so you got to be discerning. You got to try places, you know, you may go. I’ve been to events and thought, yeah, this isn’t my vibe. I won’t come here again.
But I’m glad I did it once.
Vim
00:39:29.430 – 00:40:37.030
No, honestly, I mean, now that we’re talking about it, actually, the. The reason I sent you the email was because my love for how you talk about inclusivity.
I know I could do the big I am and talking about how I walk into spaces and demand that people know who I am. But of course, it was a confidence thing.
And so, of course, course, it took me a while to be here, but if I’d had more people like you who run events, conferences and make it a point to say over and over again, again, you are welcome. This is an inclusive space. I don’t care how much you earn.
I don’t care where you are in business, whether you consider yourself a high flyer or whether you’re just starting out, I promise there’s someone you’ll be able to relate to because you are welcome in this space that I’m creating. And that’s your voice. That’s what I’ve, you know, learned that you are from your podcast and how you speak. And so. So hats off to you.
I know where Prose Live will be a really amazing inclusive space. I’m not anxious about coming because I know for a fact that as soon as I walk in, it’s somewhere that I’m very welcome.
Becca
00:40:37.510 – 00:41:36.150
Yeah, absolutely. Everyone is a friend of mine if they’re coming into my space for sure. And I think a lot, so much of it. Boils down to confidence.
And what I love about you, Vim, is, you know, we said it all the way through this. You reached out to me, you said, hey, Becca, I’ve got this to share. Can I come on your podcast? And I said, yes.
And so often we’re so anticipating a no that we don’t even send the email. And sometimes it might be a no, sometimes it’s not the right fit.
But we can’t put what we’re thinking on someone else because sometimes we just land in the inbox. We turn up at the venue just when they’re thinking, oh, maybe weddings is for us. And it turns into this huge business opportunity.
So I think people listening, what you need to take from today’s conversation is be unapologetically yourself and just go for it. Put yourself in spaces so you can be seen and heard and people can see who you are and why you’re amazing at what you do.
Vim, before I let you go, I always end my podcast with the same question, which is this. What’s one thing you personally wish you’d known sooner in your own business?
Vim
00:41:36.390 – 00:42:12.110
I think the importance of getting a coach. The industry is saturated and there’s so many people that do the job well.
So if you’re coming into an industry, just because you have a skill or talent doesn’t mean you know the runnings of a business. It doesn’t mean you know exactly who to go to and where to go to to almost guarantee success. So I wish I’d known that sooner. I wish.
I just thought, I need to find someone who’s been in the industry, who’s coaching and teaching people about how to succeed, and then just hang on to them for as long as I need rather than trying to do everything myself at the start.
Becca
00:42:12.190 – 00:42:18.510
Vim, it’s been such a pleasure talking to you. If people want to find out more about you, about your business, where are the best places for them to find you?
Vim
00:42:18.910 – 00:42:36.730
Okay, so you can find me on Instagram. I love Instagram. Foreverlovedcelebrancy. My website is foreverlovedcelebrancy.com you can also find me on TikTok.
I’ve started a TikTok and on Facebook the same thing. Forever loved Celebrency.
Becca
00:42:37.050 – 00:42:52.650
Fantastic. I will make sure I put all of the links to you and into the show notes underneath here.
And hopefully you’re going to be at wedpros Live in London, so if people want to meet you in person, they can come along and see you in that space. Vim, it’s been a pleasure. Thank you so much for your time.
Vim
00:42:52.970 – 00:43:02.890
Thank you so much for having me, Becca. Honestly, it’s been one of the best conversations I’ve had in a really long time.
I hope we can do this again sometime soon and have a really, really, really lovely rest of your week.
Becca
00:43:03.570 – 00:43:32.090
What a fantastic conversation me and Vim have just had. There is so much there.
I could have spoken to her all day about all of these different nuances, but what really shines for me is how she’s being unapologetically herself while also being a great representative for the industry and showing that you can walk into any room and show people exactly what you can do and be successful. It doesn’t matter what you look like, your background, your religion, your gender. I don’t care.
Just be unapologetically yourself and serve your couples well. I’ll see you all next time.
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