Show notes:

Today we are chatting about navigating the ‘Experience Era’ in weddings. We are living in an ‘experience era’ where events need to go deeper than just logistics and design. Today I’m chatting with Experience Designer – Julie Comfort about her work in this field.

As founder of The Experiential Wedding – she works alongside couples and planners to design the experience for their event, ensuring the event is remembered long after it has finished.

Find out more: https://www.theexperientialwedding.com/

The retreat: https://www.theexperientialwedding.com/workshops

Time Stamps:

00:00 – The Importance of Experience Design in Wedding Planning

06:15 – Exploring the Journey to Experience Design

10:48 – Creating Meaningful Experiences at Weddings

21:20 – Creating Memorable Wedding Experiences

28:23 – The Importance of Experience Design in Weddings

35:51 – Introduction to Experience Design in Weddings

Transcript:

Julie
00:00:00.160 – 00:00:27.040
Yeah, again, that’s like why I really prefer to work with wedding planners because they also understand all of the logistical challenges as well.

And you know, this is something that always kind of comes out in the brainstorming process as well because I always want to start with like every big idea, everything you can think of and then we get into the practical side. Is this realistic? Is it going to cause you stress?

Because part of the experience design is also designing the experience for the couple of planning the wedding.

Becca
00:00:27.040 – 00:01:26.950
Like I’m Becca Pountney, wedding business marketing expert speaker and and you’re listening to the Wedding Pros who Are Ready to Grow podcast. I’m here to share with you actionable tips, strategies and real life examples to help you take your wedding business to the next level.

If you are an ambitious wedding business owner that wants to take your passion and use it to build a profitable, sustainable business doing what you love, then you’re in the right place. Let’s get going with today’s episode. Today I’m chatting with Julie Comfort, award winning photographer turned visionary experience designer.

As founder of the Experiential Wedding, she helps couples planners and entrepreneurs create unforgettable events that go far beyond the pretty details, with a focus on connection, inclusion and meaningful impact.

When not in weddings, Julie educates on experience design at the Catalyst, the Institute for Creative Arts and Technology in Berlin, Germany, the city she also calls home. I cannot wait to find out more about Julie. So Julie, welcome to the podcast.

Julie
00:01:27.200 – 00:01:28.080
Thank you for having me.

Becca
00:01:28.080 – 00:01:38.880
It is an absolute pleasure. I’m thrilled to have you. Just tell me before we dive into your background, how long have you lived in Germany?

Because we can tell from your accent that maybe you haven’t been in Germany forever.

Julie
00:01:38.880 – 00:02:08.460
Yes, that’s correct. I have been here just over 10 years, about 10 and a half years.

I’m originally from the US just outside of New York City in New Jersey, but I’ve kind of lived all over. I was also in Costa Rica for almost seven years and that’s where I started my wedding photography business.

And so I was a destination wedding photographer. Kind of traveled all over and have moved around quite a bit, but I’ve been pretty settled here for just over 10 years.

Becca
00:02:08.620 – 00:02:23.020
Amazing. Well, I’ve never been to Germany. That’s still on my list of places I need to go.

So if you hear of any great wedding industry events happening in Germany, let me know. Maybe I can take it off my bucket list of places that I haven’t yet been, which is ridiculous because it.

Julie
00:02:23.020 – 00:02:24.380
Really isn’t that Far from the uk.

Becca
00:02:25.900 – 00:02:46.200
Exactly. So Judy, talk to me.

I’m going to take you back because I always like to take my list business back to hear people’s journey so they know why they should be listening to in the first place. And I mentioned in my intro that you actually started in photography. You just mentioned that you started in photography as well.

So take me back to that moment. When did you actually enter the wedding industry for the first time?

Julie
00:02:46.600 – 00:06:15.750
So, okay, it was I actually, I went to art school and I had an individualized major in graphic design and photography. So I studied photography and I was like a hobbyist photographer as far back as when I was a early teenager.

I found my dad’s old camera in the attic and I got really into photography when I was about 13, 14. So I was already. I wasn’t a professional photographer, but I was a hobbyist photographer for a really long time.

And when I had my first daughter in 2008, I was gifted a really, really nice digital camera. And that was the first time that I sort of thought I could do photography professionally because film was always such a crapshoot.

It was know you never really knew what you were going to get. Even though I was pretty technically savvy, I just, the. The idea of losing someone’s wedding photos was just terrifying to me.

And I think that kind of immediacy of digital made it more accessible to me. And at the time I was actually working as a web designer. And my husband and I, after our daughter was born, we decided to move to Costa Rica.

And I was planning on being a web designer there and just, you know, kind of sticking with my US clients and doing it remotely.

But as I was researching Costa Rica, I found that there was this sort of thriving wedding industry that was happening there and it was becoming a hotspot for destination weddings. And at the time I also did a lot of work for a wedding photographer. I was doing design work for her.

But I thought, well, I have this kind of in to sort of learn how it goes. And I asked if I could start second shooting with her. This is when I was still living in the States.

I was in Austin, Texas at that time and I started second shooting with some wedding people I knew and kind of learning how it worked to shoot a wedding.

So that by the time I moved to Costa Rica, I had already built up a little bit of a portfolio and I was already booking weddings before I even got there. There’s a ton of elopements at that time. So I kind of started small, did a lot of elopements. And then my.

My career really quickly blew up there because I think the planners there, because it was such a boom at that time, they were looking for someone new creatively. I think the photographers who were there at that time, they were just. They were good.

You know, they were technically really good, but they weren’t really doing anything outside the box. And I think that’s when wedding photography started being really creative and people were looking for something really fresh and personalized.

And so it was kind of a right place, right time situation where I came in, I was something new, and the planners really liked me and wanted to work with me. And so they were really promoting me, and my career really blew up there. And so I was doing really well there for a while.

I was also being booked to kind of travel around to other places, and that was great. And I loved wedding photography.

But by the time that I moved to Europe about, I don’t know, seven or eight years after I started my wedding photography career, and I was faced with the prospect of starting from scratch in a new market, and I was no longer kind of the big fish in a small pond. I was now a very small fish in a very big pond. I was a little bit overwhelmed by that idea, and I was also kind of burned out.

Weddings started to feel all the same to me at that point. I think I’d photographed around 300 weddings and I was like, ready for something new.

And that’s when I decided to go back to school and study Experience design.

Becca
00:06:15.830 – 00:06:34.230
Well, so you’ve really reinvented yourself. A lot of times. You’ve gone from web designer to photographer. And then when you moved to Europe, you went from photographer to experiential design.

But there’ll be a lot of people listening think I don’t even understand what that means. So how did you even discover this world of experiential design? And how did you end up studying it?

Julie
00:06:34.600 – 00:09:43.240
Yeah, so I actually went to a talk. Of a woman named Eda Tin. She’s the founder of Clue, which is a period tracking app.

This is, I know, a very convoluted story, but she gave a talk in Berlin about her kind of career journey, and she went to a school called Chaos Pilot in Denmark. And I just was so intrigued by the name and I thought, what is that? I immediately looked it up when I got home.

And Chaos Pilot is sort of a social design entrepreneurship school in Aarhus, Denmark. And they had all of these kind of professional programs as well. And one of them was Experience Design.

And as I was Reading about it, I just thought, oh, my God, this is so cool. And it’s basically designing experiences to kind of change the way people interact, relate, learn things like that.

I think the kind of most visceral experience that describes what it is is like, escape rooms or immersive art exhibitions or like a haunted house or something. Those are kind of designed experiences that a lot of people know what they are. And of course it can.

It’s used a lot now in the corporate world for customer experience design.

And marketing as well, for, like, marketing activations where, you know, if you see some kind of pop up on the street, they’re stopping people and they give you some kind of experience to promote their product. And Netflix uses experience design a lot in creating these experiences around their shows.

Apple TV did one with the show Severance, where they had their actors, like, in a box, like in Grand Central Station in New York. And so a lot of companies are using experience design to make their marketing, their products more immersive.

And it’s used a lot in learning, designing learning experiences, experiences, how people learn, creating workshops, retreats, that kind of thing. And so I took it just out of curiosity. I was like, kind of, what is this? And I.

And it just changed the whole trajectory of my life because I thought it was so cool, particularly designing for emotions. And immediately I made the connection of, why aren’t more people doing this in the event space?

And particularly with weddings having come from the wedding world, I was like, this is what so many weddings that I’ve been to were kind of missing. You know, this is why weddings were starting to all feel the same to me, is they were sort of following this format, this sort of blueprint.

And there wasn’t enough personality, individuality, and, like, emotion kind of stamped onto this blueprint to make them unique to the couple, unique to the community.

And so it just kind of became this very serendipitous marriage, so to speak, that, you know, learning this experience design and then tying it back to my roots in weddings, it just kind of really fit together for me.

Becca
00:09:43.320 – 00:10:48.870
It sounds really interesting. It’s definitely something that’s right up my street.

And what’s interesting and why I’m excited to talk to you is that over the last probably six months, I’ve been talking on stages about marketing trends. And one of the things that I’ve been saying is that we’re now living in the experience era.

And so when I give examples of that on stage, I say, you know, it’s no. It’s no surprise to me.

That when you go into London now, you can do the Traitors live experience, the Squid games experience, like everyone wants to do the Monopoly experience, the crystal maze experience. They’re all experiences and that’s what consumers want. And so I’ve been saying on stage, we are now living in the experience era.

Weddings need to not just be an event, they need to be an experience. And then one of the questions I often get asked is, well, that’s great, Becca, but how does that actually happen? So enter Julie.

I’m hoping you’re going to give me a better answer to that question because I can see it’s coming.

But actually in real life, what does that practically mean to a vendor who’s working on the ground, who’s working a venue, a photographer, a florist, When I’m telling them, yeah, we’re living in an experience era and you need to embrace it, what does that actually mean practically for them?

Julie
00:10:48.950 – 00:16:10.300
Yeah, so basically my kind of process and methodology is that we actually start with the, the meaning that we want people to take away from this event.

And actually, I think, you know, you mentioned all of these different kinds of experiences that people can go to and they have become really a pop trend and something to do.

But I think the bubble there is actually bursting a little bit because what a lot of those experiences lack is any kind of sort of deeper emotional engagement or meaning. So they’re really beautiful.

They’re kind of these Instagrammable kind of cool things you can do, but when they sort of lack this deeper meaning and impact, they. They don’t really stick with you. You walk away and you’re kind of like, okay, that was fun. And you never really. Viscerally remember it.

You don’t have this kind of core memory of these types of experiences.

And what I think we can do with weddings and with experience design is actually creating real meaning and emotional engagement for people so that it really does become one of those kind of core memories that they think back to often and they’re like, God, I’m so glad I was there. Like, you really had to be there. Kind of moments like, I’m so glad I was in that room. Something really magical happened.

And we’ve all had experiences like that and a lot of times we think they happen just organically, but there’s a lot of things that we can do to kind of create those experiences. And I think part of the problem is people take for granted. If we just get everyone we love in one room together, it’s going to be magical.

And it probably is for the couple at the center of this. But in order for that to kind of resonate out to everybody else, you have to bring them into that meaning and deliver that meaning for them as well.

And so the way that we do this practically is we start out, we think about, you know, there’s only so many kind of human meanings that really stick with us. Things like community. Wonder, beauty. One researcher, nation.

Nathan Schedroff has kind of broken it down to 15 core meanings that he’s found universal across all cultures. So we start with that. We kind of find, like, what is the meaning that you really want to deliver with this wedding?

And then what is the core intention? What is the guiding intention? What do you want the story to be that people tell about this event?

Because a lot of times when we’re just focusing on the aesthetic details, you know, you can walk in and be like, it was stunning. It was beautiful. I mean, they really went over the top, and it was a lot of fun. But they might not take away anything deeper than that, you know.

And there’s this kind of very cliche quote, I think it’s from Maya Angelou, that says people won’t remember what you said or what you did. They’ll remember how you made them feel.

And I think the sort of missing element in weddings is that we’re not focusing enough on the feelings that we’re delivering. We’re just focusing on the aesthetics. And so experience sign really then starts with kind of breaking the day.

Once you have this kind of overall vision of like, okay, what is it that we really want people to take away from this? Then you can get into a more detailed breakdown of each sort of stage. How do we want people to feel the moment they walk through the door?

How do we want them to feel even going back when they. When they first hear about this event? You know, how are we going to make them feel?

Excited, excitement, this whole, you know, six months to a year building up to the wedding, like, they’re going to get the invitation, and they might feel excited for it, and then they don’t think about it again until it’s time to plan for it. You know, how do we kind of keep that excitement going? How do we design for that part of the journey? Then?

How do we want them to feel when they walk through the door? How do we want them to feel? And when they come to the ceremony and they walk away from the ceremony, and how do we want them to feel when they.

When they leave at the end of the night, what feeling are we creating for them then.

And then once we have the feelings that we want to design for, then it becomes easier to then think about touch points where we can create those feelings. And I really encourage people, both planners and couples, to get really detailed about how you want people to feel.

Like, you know, for my own wedding, like we really wanted people to feel like we had, we bought a farm last year and we wanted to share this place with people and we wanted them to feel like, like this is a really special place that they want to return to all of the time. So how can we kind of make them feel that way? And so what we did as part of our wedding, we actually gifted each guest a tree on the property.

It’s an olive farm. So they each got their own olive tree. They got to name it.

We put them all, they were as a big map of all the trees and they, you know, that was labeled with their tree and their name. And like this, you know, you’re kind of the steward of this tree.

Like, you know, you get olives from it, but you also like can come and you know, take part in taking care of it. And it really gave them a sense of ownership over, over the land, over this place. And like they have something to return to.

And that was something that we started with. We wanted them to feel a connection to this place. And then we thought, okay, how can we design a moment that solidifies that connection?

So that’s kind of one example of starting with the feelings and then creating a touch point that delivers that feeling. So in a way it’s a mindset shift, really. Yeah.

Becca
00:16:10.300 – 00:17:05.180
And you just unlocked a very core memory for me in that conversation. So this stuff works because as you were talking about how you gave everyone a tree, you unlock this memory in my mind.

So when I was at primary school that happened. They gave every single pupil a tree. We helped plant it, we had our little name tag over it.

And all these years later, whenever I go back to visit my parents and I drive past that school, I’m always like, I have a tree, I’d like to go see my tree. And I remember I had this like hand drawn matt map that I’d drawn as an 8 year old child how to find my tree.

And actually more recently I’ve been at my parents house looking for that map. And so it’s incredible how even you just talking about it has unlocked that in my mind.

And it shows the power of creating that experience in a very real way. Because you’re right, it’s not just that, oh that was a nice thing that I did. That’s a core memory.

And I’m sure for many of the people that attended your wedding, that will now be a core memory for them to.

Julie
00:17:05.730 – 00:17:45.000
Yeah, and we use sensory anchors as well as like a way to kind of trigger memories. Right.

So I always kind of encourage couples to have like a signature scent or something so that if they smell that scent, you know, years down the line, it will remind them of your wedding and being a part of this experience with you. And, you know, it can be different things too, like imagery or textures and things that will kind of anchor them back to the experience.

Because, you know, I tell people the experience is not just the wedding itself. It’s from the moment they first hear about it to all the times they remember it.

And there are also ways to design for prolonging the experience through memory and reflection and things like that.

Becca
00:17:45.240 – 00:18:08.190
Amazing. So you then personally your business now as part of the experiential wedding, couples can actually hire you to help them with this.

What makes that different to planning their wedding? Are you as well as the planner? Are you instead of the planner? Is the planner working directly with you?

How does that it work for people who are thinking this is a completely alien concept to me? How does it fit into the wedding day?

Julie
00:18:08.190 – 00:20:47.150
Yeah, so it’s definitely with the planner. And I really encourage couples to have a planner at least day of coordination to kind of put all of the details in place.

And I am shifting to actually the full experience design I only do in collaboration with the planner. I do have kind of like a.

A mini experience design that I do with couples directly, but I really prefer to work with planners because they are the people that going to actually implement everything and make sure everything fits together. But basically what differentiates me from a typical wedding planner is that there are actually three types of pleasure pleasurable experiences.

There’s aesthetic experiences, which most weddings fall under. There’s emotional experiences, and there’s meaningful experiences.

And I think most wedding planners are really focused on the aesthetic side of things, the logistics and making sure everything runs smoothly, everything flows well, and of course looks beautiful.

And what I do is I design more kind of emotional and meaningful touch points that should holistically fit in with the aesthetic design and the flow of the event. But that’s why it’s important to work with the planner so that everything kind of works together.

And then the planners can kind of implement these things as well. I mean, a lot of what I do, it doesn’t require a lot of implementation or Facilitation.

Sometimes it might require printing something like printing a little card that everyone gets that maybe connects them to another guest.

I had one couple that met on Tinder, and during their cocktail hour, they gave everyone it’s a match cards, and they looked like the Tinder screen, and there was a picture of them with another guest that they had never met before.

And they had to, during the cocktail hour, go and find this person and kind of figure out what the couple thought that they might have in common, why they should meet. And so, of course, that requires some additional printing and like, those kind of logistical things like to do in collaboration with the planner.

It certainly makes it a lot easier. And I also teach experience design to wedding planners because I think that this is something that a lot of wedding planners want to do.

They want to, like, go deeper into the experience side of things, but like you said, don’t necessarily know what that looks like or how to do it. And I have this kind of very simple to implement methodology that I teach as well to planners.

I have a retreat coming up in, in the spring in Barcelon, and that’s what I prefer to do, is to work with planners. And, you know, having. Having them do this work for their own weddings as well as working directly.

Becca
00:20:47.150 – 00:21:27.850
With couples, well, I guess it adds another string to their bow as well and helps them set themselves apart. As a planner, if they’re starting to talk about this and bringing it in, and as I’ve just said, I’ve been talking about it on stage.

We are going into an experience era. Couples are expecting that next level.

So if you are a planner listening to this, this, it’s worth considering how much time and energy you do put on the experience setting as well as just the aesthetic setting as well. So when it comes to creating a great experience, then for our couples, what are some of the key elements you mentioned? You know, feeling, emotion.

You mentioned smells. Are there certain key areas that are gonna make the experience better?

Julie
00:21:28.090 – 00:24:19.580
Yeah, well, if you wanna talk about, like, actually moments in the timeline, I think it’s. There are two kind of key moments that will make the biggest impact.

One is ending having, like a really strong ending, like really ending on a high point. I think it’s a little dangerous to sort of let events just kind of peter out on their own.

I know couples are always afraid to sort of cut it short if people are having fun. Of course there’s always a possibility of transitioning to another event, like an after party or something.

But I. I do think that that’s Actually a missed opportunity to end on a really powerful high note. Because that is actually what people most remember from an event. They don’t remember the entire event collectively.

Every moment put together, they tend to remember the, the peak moment and the end. And so those are the two moments that I tell people to focus on.

If you only want to focus on two moments is really think about how are you ending this event? And, and again, like you want to start with how do I want people to feel at the end? Do I want them to feel connected?

Then I have to kind of create some moment where everybody comes together. Like, you know, I don’t know, singing a song together or something.

Really, you know, that’s something that makes people feel really bonded or, you know, even if it’s just doing like the, the, the sparkler exit or something, but in a way that it’s like a distinct kind of end point and then also having some kind of peak moment. So people will remember kind of the, the most distinctive moment, the thing that sort of stands out from what they expect.

And if your wedding, even if it’s beautiful and wonderful, if it’s pretty much aligned with what people are expecting from the wedding, then it really won’t stick to their memory as well. In order for things to kind of stick with us, they have to deviate from our expectations in some way.

And what I try to remind people is this can be really negative. Like if something really bad happens, if something goes wrong, that’s what people tend to remember.

So you want it to be memorable by design, not disaster. You want to create a memorable moment that’s something that no one is expecting. And that’s the thing that they will, they will remember.

And that can be anything. It can be something fun you do at the reception.

It can be something really meaningful and special at the ceremony, but it should be something no one’s expecting. And it should be something that’s tied to the kind of emotions and meaning that you want to create. It should be personal.

It shouldn’t necessarily be something trendy or novel. It should be.

If, like, for example, if, if the meaning that or the thing you want to create is a feeling of community, then it has to be a moment where you’re, you’re engaging every single person there in some way, bringing everyone together and there’s something for them to do together. And that’s another important thing is engagement creat things for people to do. So they’re not just passive observers at this event.

They’re actually engaged in some way. They’re actually a part of it in some way.

Becca
00:24:19.580 – 00:24:26.780
Can you give me any examples of things that you’ve either done or you’ve seen other people do for both the ending and the peak?

Julie
00:24:27.660 – 00:26:17.680
So like one, I mean, a lot of times I would say like one ending that is actually always kind of a crowd pleaser is of course fireworks. Fireworks is always kind of a nice surprise, but obviously not always practical.

But like I said, even the sparkler exit can be a really special ending if you do it in a fun way and everybody gets to gather, there’s really some special song. There was one couple that did a sing along to what was the song? Living on a Prayer. Bon Jovi Living on a Prayer. And everybody.

It was like the last song of the night and they asked everybody to come on the dance floor and sing along. And singing together is really a very powerful kind of moving thing.

That’s why people get such a spiritual experience at church, because it’s singing together and it really like the kind of collective voices is really a powerful thing. And some peak moments that I’ve seen. Design one for a couple where at sunset everyone gathers around. It’s. It’s on a mountain.

Standing at the top of this mountain, watching the sun go down together. And then there are some hidden waiter. The waiters, they’re disguised as waiters, but they’re singers and they are.

Then they at sunset are going to kind of all start singing this kind of collective song and that will kind of create the sort of wow moment. So things like that, things that are just kind of a little bit out of the ordinary. I don’t think you have to reinvent the wheel here.

It can just be a small moment, but it should feel really surprising and special and kind of like. Like you had to be there to experience it. Like it’s. It’s something you haven’t seen before.

Becca
00:26:18.000 – 00:26:37.840
And how are you going deep with the couple from the outset to ensure that this stuff is stuff that resonates with them? Is it about meeting with them? Is there certain questions you’re asking? Because obviously you want to make sure that it’s what they want. Yes.

You want it to be an experience for their guests, but obviously they’re at the heart of it. So how are you doing that work?

Julie
00:26:37.840 – 00:28:59.670
Yeah, so there’s a pretty detailed questionnaire that they fill out on their own. And it’s. I. I try to that as its own experience. Like make a date night out of it. Listen to your favorite music, kind of get cozy.

Like filling out the questionnaire as its own experience, because they’re conversation questions that really get at the heart of things that I don’t think enough couples are talking about when they’re planning their weddings. Like, what does this really mean to us? Like, why do we need to have a wedding?

Like, why is it so important for us to have these people there and witness this kind of moment in our lives? And, like, what will make it feel like it was successful and what would make it feel like it was a failure? And, you know, who are the people.

People that really need to be there, who are the people that we feel obligated to invite but, you know, wouldn’t be missed? And really kind of dive into these questions, and then it does get a little bit more specific into the feelings at each stage as well.

And then, yeah, we have a call, we talk about these things. We. We talk through them and really dig into the why. Like, why are you having a wedding and why is it important to you?

Because weddings are a huge investment. And I think that if we’re going to kind of spend a year planning an event and. And a ton of.

Putting a ton of money into it, that really, it should have this very resonating impact on our lives. You know, it shouldn’t feel like just a party or just one day.

And there is this kind of conflict between, okay, it’s a huge investment, and it’s a big deal, and it’s something I’ve been thinking about my whole life. And it’s also just a party.

And you have to find that balance of, like, okay, what will make it really meaningful to us and what will make it really meaningful to the people who are there? Because you want to make it meaningful for them as well. It’s an investment for people to come to a wedding now as well.

And there are community, and there’s a reason that we get married in community. And we don’t have as many of these kind of big ritual ceremonial events in our lives anymore, especially as society gets more secular.

We don’t have that many. There’s, you know, birthday parties, there’s weddings, there’s funerals.

But we used to have a lot more of them because ritual and ceremony is a really important part of community.

And so this is also an opportunity to really dig into, like, what it is about your particular community of friends and family that is meaningful to you, and how can we celebrate that, and how can we create something, you know, meaningful for everybody who’s there, and how.

Becca
00:28:59.670 – 00:29:24.400
Do we ensure that these experiences on a wedding day are what they’re intended to be. And don’t become this massive pressure point for the couple.

Because we’ve all seen those couples that have seen something on TikTok and they want to recreate it, and actually they end up just becoming like, really anxious about making this perfect moment, which then ends up being less perfect because they’re just stressed. So how are we ensuring this kind of flows without having that added pressure?

Julie
00:29:24.480 – 00:32:22.490
Yeah, again, that’s like, why I really prefer to work with wedding planners, because they also understand all of the logistical challenges as well.

And, you know, this is something that always kind of comes out in the brainstorming process as well, because I always want to start with, like, every big idea, everything you can think of. And then we get into the practical side. Is this realistic? Is it going to cause you stress?

Because part of the experience design is also designing the experience for the couple of planning the wedding. Wedding. Like, at some point, if it’s more stressful than enjoyable, what’s the point?

You want the experience of planning the wedding to also be fulfilling in some way.

And so, yeah, we really talk about those things, like, if this is going to be too stressful to actually happen, then let’s absolutely skip it or let’s figure out a way to do it that it isn’t a source of stress, because that is all part of the experience design is figuring out how it’s going to work, who’s responsible for it, and then, you know, also making sure that somebody else is really handling the logistics on the day so that the couple also gets to be present to the experience.

And that also kind of pinpoints another one of the sort of conflicts of a wedding, which is that the couple getting married, they are the hosts, but they are also the guests of honor. And so, you know, it’s much different than if you’re having a dinner party at your house. You’re the hosts.

You get to introduce everybody who’s there to everybody else. You get to sing, oh, you need to meet this person, because you have this in common. And you can’t really play the host role at your own wedding.

And so there has to be someone else who’s actually handling the hosting. And that’s another part of the experience design as well, is who’s going to be handling these things. And I usually encourage.

I do think hosts are really important. And so I usually encourage couples. Couples to kind of assign hosts of different parts of the day or have a table host.

I saw there’s a trend now of table captains, which is the same thing. It’s it’s somebody who’s responsible for that table. They’re hosting that table. They’re gonna keep the energy up.

They’re gonna make sure the conversation flows. They’re gonna keep the wine being poured and take on a little bit of that responsibility. And sometimes people are afraid to assign roles to people.

They don’t want to make people work at their wedding. But actually, people really like being useful. They like having something to do. And you reels of. Of table captains. They’re really proud of themselves.

They’re proud for being chosen. They. They obviously get a lot of pleasure in being in this role. And I think that’s a good reminder that it’s okay to give people something to do.

It’s okay to give them a job. People take a lot of pride.

As long as the job is aligned with what their skill set is and it’s something that they feel capable of, then and they can bring their kind of skills to the table, then people will take a lot of pride in that. It actually will give them meaning to have a job.

Becca
00:32:22.650 – 00:32:56.720
I love that. And I actually went to a wedding where someone on the table was assigned a job.

So when the food came out, the meat, the guy was getting married as a chef, and the meat came out not carved. And so someone on every table had to be assigned or was pre assigned to be the person that carved the meat for the table.

And they’d bought them these big chef hats and a big apron, and it was this big surprise, and it was a great talking point because the person who’d been chosen is like, yeah, I’ve been chosen. And everyone else is like, why didn’t I get chosen? Or, oh, I’m glad I didn’t get chosen. And it was a really, again, a really memorable experience.

So simple.

Julie
00:32:56.880 – 00:32:57.360
Yeah.

Becca
00:32:57.360 – 00:33:21.360
And they hadn’t been told ahead of time. They just found out in the moment. But they knew their friends and family, so they knew the right people to. To pick. They had their reasons. And.

And then they had, like, this big chef photo. So all the people had been assigned from each table when they had a photo together with the chef, who was also the groom. And yeah, it was a.

It was a fabulous experience. So again, you can. You can see that coming into practice. Simple ideas that make big experiences.

Julie
00:33:21.360 – 00:33:57.400
Exactly. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel.

Like, it’s really a mindset shift where, where if you’re really intentional about the feelings you want to create, you can find these little ways to create them. But I think the problem is sometimes yeah. People see trends and they just kind of go for it.

It’s not necessarily personally relevant to them or particularly meaningful to them. And that’s why I think it’s when you’re choosing these kind of things to do that you’re coming at it from the perspective of like, this is so us.

Like what you just described with the chefs. This is so them. I’m sure, like, the guy’s a chef. Like, this is so them. And that’s what it should feel like. It should feel really personally relevant.

Relevant.

Becca
00:33:57.480 – 00:34:23.320
Okay, so a lot of what we’ve talked about is really relevant to people, particularly if they’re planners, maybe if they’re venues. But there’ll be a lot of other people listening who are involved in the wedding day, but not in those roles.

So florists and cake makers, and I know that a lot of them want to up level the experience that they are personally giving to their clients. So are there ways we can bring this idea of experience into those other roles, even if they’re not, you know, overall in charge of the whole day?

Julie
00:34:23.400 – 00:35:45.910
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I think kind of experience design.

I mean, when I took the course, I was coming at it from the perspective of customer experience, of designing an experience for customers.

And again, it’s really just kind of going through the whole journey from the moment people first hear about you to when you’re, when they’re connecting with you, when you’re delivering your services, and then also, really intentionally how you’re following up with them and what their takeaway is at the end and looking at each of those kind of points along, along the journey and thinking about, okay, how do I want people to feel at this point of the journey? How do I want them to feel when they first see my website or first hear about me?

How do, how do I want them to feel when they walk into the room and see their flowers on the table? And then making sure that, you know, you’re. You’re kind of starting from there.

And then, okay, how can I create little details of how, how to make people feel that way again? It’s not really complicated. It’s just a matter of shifting to thinking about the feelings first and then coming.

Coming up with unique ways to sort of deliver these feelings. And that, that can be done at any point along the customer journey. It can be done for events and, and all of those kind of things.

I mean, I do this with my kids. Birthday parties, you know, dinner parties. They’re all, you know, experience designed in the same way.

Becca
00:35:46.070 – 00:36:06.830
So let’s talk about then the experience design of something away from the wedding, which would be maybe a consultation.

So a lot of people will have couples come into a bridal shop or meet them on Zoom for a consultation or meet them in person for a coffee for a consultation. Is there ways that the. That vendor can up level that part of their own event?

Julie
00:36:06.990 – 00:38:41.020
Absolutely.

Like, this is a little bit off topic, but I remember a friend of mine is a coach, and we were, you know, talking about little ways that she could amplify her meetings with people and kind of give them something to take away.

And so she would have the meet at her house and she would make them this custom blend of tea, and then she would give them this little gift as they left that was this custom blend of herbal tea that she made just for them.

And it, you know, based on something that maybe she asked them during the intake questionnaire, like, what’s, what’s your personal strength or something.

I. I don’t remember exactly what the initial question was, but I know that the, the tea that she created in some way tied back to something that she knew about them personally. And then they, they got this.

So there was this little kind of tea ritual during the meeting, and then there was the takeaway, which was this gift of having this tea that they can, they can bring home. And so these little details that you can kind of work into your process.

Like, again, it doesn’t really cost a lot of money to make a custom tea blend if you have all of the things. Like it’s, you know, it’s really a very easy thing to create, but it has a really big impact.

Actually had a meeting with another experienced designer recently that we’re collaborating, and she gifted me a bar of chocolate. And it had this like a conversation question or reflection question? A little card with a reflection question.

And she’s like, this is what we can talk about the next time we meet. And I thought that was really beautiful. So, of course, there are just little details that you can work in. And I think it’s.

It’s really especially impactful when it, it all kind of ties together in some way. So you have the initial email and you take something from there there that you create an object.

Or another thing that’s very similar is I once was at a design experience where they asked us what our superpower was. And I think I said mine was empathy. And then later I got this candle that said, when you need a moment of empathy, light this candle.

And so it tied back to something personal about me. So that felt very bespoke in a way.

And so you can create these really bespoke moments that are, it’s more meaningful to someone if it feels really personalized. So, and that can start at like the intake questionnaire. Like what are you actually asking people?

Are you just asking them practical questions or are you actually trying to get to know them a little bit? And then what are you doing with that information once you have it? You know, are you tailoring things to be very personal?

You know, so details like that can really amplify the customer experience.

Becca
00:38:41.580 – 00:38:58.400
I think a lot of these details typically sit at the more luxury end of the market. And I think when people obviously getting paid more, they’re giving more luxury details.

Do you think there’s a place though for this experiential design in all areas of the market or do you think it really is just for luxury?

Julie
00:38:58.400 – 00:40:07.720
I absolutely think that there’s room for it in every area. I mean, I do think that it is an important aspect of the luxury market and I call it invisible luxury.

It’s all the things that you can’t see and touch, but that leave that kind of impression. And of course it’s an important part of delivering on luxury.

But like the detail, you know, the examples that I just gave, they really don’t cost very much to implement, if anything. And so of course anybody can use these things to deliver a more luxury version of what they’re already delivering.

It doesn’t cost anything to get to know someone, to ask more questions and, and then to use that information to kind of tailor the way that you talk to that person. And so you can do a lot of these things without a big budget. And in fact, like, I think experience design can be applied to weddings at any budget.

A lot of the ideas that I come with, come up with don’t cost anything to implement. It doesn’t cost anything to have a sing along to, you know, Bon Jovi and, or any than more than you’re already spending.

And so there are a lot of ways to work in experience design that leaves a really lasting impact and does feel very luxury without it actually adding to the budget.

Becca
00:40:07.720 – 00:40:21.320
Is there people listening and they’re thinking, right, I really get this, Julie. I really like the idea of this. I want to bring something into my own business. Where should they start?

Like what could they go and do now to start thinking or doing more of this?

Julie
00:40:21.400 – 00:41:39.030
Yeah, I mean, there’s a lot of information out there, I mean a ton of books about experience design. I mean, I’m sure You know, the book the Art of Gathering that also has a lot of details about experience design in there.

And I also have a substack called Design for Connection where I share like a lot of my insights about experience design and different ways to, you know, just sort of shift the mindset a little bit from, you know, thinking about purely the details and the logistics to thinking about the feelings and emotions and making sure that that’s part of the process as.

So I would just recommend kind of reading up on the topic and I think it’s really interesting and there’s, there’s definitely a lot out there and it’s like you said, it’s kind of an experience economy right now and there’s a lot of this experience stuff happening. And it’s really surprising to me that it’s not happening more in the event industry.

It, of course it is happening some, but there’s not a lot of wedding experience designers like myself right now in the industry. And I think that that’s going to be kind of the next, next field in weddings.

Like, you know, a couple years ago no one knew what a content creator was and now, you know, you see them in every directory. And I think, I think experience design is kind of the next frontier of where weddings are going.

Becca
00:41:39.190 – 00:42:07.070
I think it’s really important and not just in the wedding and event space, I think in all spaces. So for example, next year I’m hosting my first in person conference.

And one of the things that’s really heavy on my mind and I’ve been saying in my marketing is I don’t want this to be a dry, boring conference. I want this to be, to be an experience.

Now practically in that setting, in a corporate setting, do the same things apply what makes a good experience in that kind of place?

Julie
00:42:07.150 – 00:45:16.300
Yeah, that’s a good question. Actually started out before I got back into weddings.

I was doing corporate events and culinary events and the, my niche in the corporate event world was actually designing big conferences for introverts because I myself am an introvert.

And I would always feel really overwhelmed going to these conferences because, because the number one reason people say that they go to conferences is to meet people and to make connections and to network. But conferences aren’t really designed for that. They’re designed for the speakers.

And I noticed when I would go to conferences I would feel really overwhelmed and intimidated to make the connections. And so I started working on ways to design for, I would say, removing the friction, the social friction.

And so there’s a lot of ways to do this, creating Kind of quiet spaces and different places where people can kind of come away. I went to a conference last year in Morocco for the House of Beautiful Business.

And they had this little side room where they had this table, and you could sit across.

You could sit at the table, and then someone could come and sit across from you and sit in the other chair, and you would pick a conversation question out of this little cup. And it was really magical. I had this really magical connection with this woman sitting across from me, and she was a total stranger.

I never saw her again, but it was a really magical moment of connection, and it was away from the crowd. And so little things like that are really wonderful.

I also think my favorite thing to do at conferences is putting something on the name tag that gives people an icebreaker, like a natural icebreaker. So I did an event once where we did visual name tags where they had little symbols on them.

There were three questions people had to answer before they got their name tag. And the way that they answered each question gave them a different symbol for these three different areas.

And then you could look at the other person’s name tag, and you could immediately see what you had in common with them. And it also had a number of how many people they felt comfortable talking to in a group.

So some people had a lot of dots, so you could approach them and if they were already talking to other people and not feel like you were intruding. If, you know, you saw two people and each of them only had two dots, maybe you would, you know, not butt into that group.

But it created a natural icebreaker of like, oh, here’s something we have in common. Oh, you have this. I have this, too. And. And then. And start talking about that.

Or you could have a name tag that says something like, tuck to me about cats, or whatever your passion is that, you know, you can talk a lot about. And it. It just removes some of that social friction of walking up to a complete stranger and having no idea, like, what to say.

And, you know, then in those situations, you end up just asking the same things, like, oh, where are you from? Like, you know, what do you do?

And, you know, at some point, those questions are just really boring, and, you know, we’re tired of answering them, and we have this kind of canned response, and it doesn’t really tell you anything about the person.

And so anyways, that you can kind of get past that sort of initial awkwardness and sort of get a little bit deeper and create deeper conversations or, you know, really nice things to do at a conference. But you know, you can use these at weddings as well. I think these are sort of universal, just ways to remove social friction.

Becca
00:45:16.460 – 00:46:21.200
And I think it’s interesting because I think people listening as business owners will resonate with what you’re saying about going to a conference. And they’ll see themselves in that situation and be thinking, thinking, oh, I wish everyone designed an experience that was helpful to me.

And if you are listening and resonating with that, realize that’s also how guests may be feeling at a wedding. And therefore that’s why this experience stuff is so important. It’s not just about how it looks.

So much of it is, and we said it’s cliche, but so much of it is about how you feel, how you feel in a space, how you feel when you enter a space, how you feel when you leave a space.

And I think all of us need to be paying way more attention to how we bring that in, whether it’s in the customer journey part, whether it’s on the wedding day itself. And I think you’re right. I think experiential design is definitely, like I said, I’m talking about it as a hot trend marketing wise at the moment.

I see it coming and I think the people who embrace it early and bring it into their businesses absolutely will stand out from their competition as well. So where do you think the industry is going next then? Julie, We’ve said that we think experiential design is coming.

What are your predictions for the future?

Julie
00:46:21.360 – 00:47:07.080
Yeah, I mean, like, because I teach more in the sort of corporate end of things and I do see a lot of trends there as well. I think it’s kind of now already moving from an experience market to a transformation market.

People are looking for transformation, they want to be transformed. And I think experience design can deliver that well, like, as well.

Like, I think you can go to a wedding and it can be a transformational experience, or you can go to a conference and it can be a transformational experience. But I think it really takes a lot of intention and really thoughtful planning to make that happen.

And I think people take for granted that it doesn’t happen automatically if you just get the right people into the room together. Like, we want to believe that that’s how it work. It doesn’t.

You really have to remove the friction, help people connect and design these moments that will stick with them.

Becca
00:47:07.160 – 00:47:44.470
And a lot of this stuff, you’re right, goes on behind the scenes.

And I think people don’t realize how much thought and energy goes into creating a good experience and people try and replicate things without that thought and energy behind them and realize this isn’t as easy as it looks. So I encourage everyone listening to dig a bit deeper, look at what you do yourself, and to really think about bringing in this experience.

And then maybe one day is going to be a transformative experience that we’re looking at as well. Julie, it’s been such a pleasure hearing more about what you do, getting to know you a bit more.

If people want to find out more about you, find out more about your work. Where are the best places for them to find you?

Julie
00:47:44.550 – 00:47:56.500
Yeah, my website is the experiential wedding.com and my Instagram as well as the Experiential wedding. And I have a substack called Designed for Incredible.

Becca
00:47:56.500 – 00:48:23.780
I will make sure I put all of those links in the show notes so people can go and find out more. But yeah, it’s been fascinating.

It’ll be interesting to see where this goes and maybe we’ll have to have you back on again in the future when things change for a second time into this transformative experience so we can talk about where the industry’s going in 2026, 2027 and beyond. It’s been such a pleasure. Thank you so much for your time and I hope that we get to see each other somewhere very soon.

Julie
00:48:23.780 – 00:48:25.610
Yeah, me too. Thanks for having me.

Becca
00:48:25.770 – 00:48:57.120
What a fascinating conversation. I know that I’m really interested in this experiential design and I know that you guys should be too.

So if you’ve listened to this and this is totally new to you, do something simple.

Just sit back, map out your own journey that you work through with customers at the moment and look at how you could just bring elements into it to give your customers a better experience.

Go and check out that substack, look up all of Julie’s resources, and I hope that you can come back to me and show me what you’ve done to make people people’s experiences better. I’ll see you all next time.