The 6 wedding pro’s you definitely DON’T want to be like and how to avoid becoming one….

Show notes

The Wedding Industry is made up of a wide variety of people, each unique and creative in their own ways! I am all about collaboration over competition and want you to work with as many different wedding business owners as you can, to help move forward!

Every now and then however…. we come across some wedding pro’s, that we really don’t want to be like and in today’s episode I am going to share 6 of them with you!

From the no action moaner to the used car salesman, how can you avoid these pitfalls in your own wedding business.

Want to meet other likeminded wedding pro’s so that you can share ideas, network and help each other out? Then why not go ahead and join my free Wedding Pro community over on Facebook:

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[00:00:00] I was once at a wedding show where someone just came over to me and all they did was talk to me about their business and why I should buy from them? They never even asked whether I was getting married. I love the wedding industry, but there’s some interesting characters, and in today’s episode, we’re going to be talking about some of the people in the wedding industry you really don’t want to be.

I’m Becca Pountney wedding, business marketing, expert, speaker, and blogger and you’re listening to the wedding pros who are ready to grow podcast. I’m here to share with you actionable tips, strategies, and real life examples to help you take your one business to the next level.

If you are an ambitious wedding business owner that wants to take your passion and use it to build a profitable, sustainable business, doing what you love, then you’re in the right place. Let’s get going with today’s episode.

I absolutely love working in the wedding industry. Our industry is full of some of the most incredible creative minds and I love working with you. I am all about community over competition every single [00:01:00] time, but as in all industries, sometimes there’s some people that maybe don’t quite do the right things. We’ve all come across some of these characters. And today I want to share with you the six different people that you really don’t want to be like in the wedding industry.

Now I’m not going to be naming any names, but these people are the kinds of people that I’ve seen over the last five or six years. And I just want to warn you not to be like them. Now, if we’re all honest, there’s probably a little bit of all of these people inside each and every one of us, but as I go through the categories, hopefully you can learn how to not be like these people and maybe have a little chuckle to yourself as maybe some of them are a little bit further.

Okay, let’s go straight in with person. Number one, I’ve called person number one, the used car sales person. If you’ve ever been out wedding exhibition, I guarantee you, you will have met one of these people. It’s the people that jump out from the wedding show, stand to the perspective, bride and [00:02:00] grooms, and just go into a full on sales pitch.

They will say, and do everything to charm the people and try and make the sale right there. And then. But let’s be honest. None of us want to be like the used car salesperson because it’s kind of awkward for the consumer. And most of us just don’t fit into that category. In fact, most of you, when I meet you also frightened of being the used car salesman, that actually you go too far the other way, and you don’t even sell at all.

We don’t want to be doing that. So how can we avoid being the used car salesman? Well, the easiest way to avoid it is to just be human. When we’re making a sale, it’s just about solving someone’s problem. It’s just about having a conversation, human to human. We don’t have to go into salesperson mode and start reeling off all these facts and figures.

We can just be ourselves, ask questions, find out what the couple’s problem is and how we can solve it. And whether we can help. If we stop thinking of [00:03:00] ourselves like this big salesperson, then we can just act normally and it’s going to put our potential couples much more ease. So don’t be the used car sales man.

Don’t be the used car sales woman. But if you starting to feel like you’re being a little bit too salesy, you’re probably not this person. Like I said, the people who were worried about this often go too far, the other direction. Now our second person will be found in a totally different situation this time.

I don’t want you to imagine yourself out a wedding exhibition. Instead. I want you to imagine yourself at some kind of networking event, perhaps you’ve gone to a networking event in order to meet other people in your community. Perhaps you’ve gone to a wedding pro specific networking events, perhaps you’ve even been to one of my networking.

Now this person can be found normally with a big stack of business cards. And I called this person the business card three. None of you wants to be the business card thrower. Why? Because the [00:04:00] business car thrower has gone to the networking event with totally the wrong intention. We don’t build connections and build relationships in the wedding industry by just looking at someone’s business card.

In fact, As I’m recording this in 2022, our business cards, even still a thing I’m much more likely to connect with someone these days on Instagram, um, or drop them an email or a voice note than I am to pick up a business card. And let’s be honest, most business cards. Where do they have. In the recycle bin.

So you don’t want to turn up to the networking event and be the business card thrower. I’ve seen this person far too often. They turn up at the event and all they’re thinking about is I need to tell as many people in this room about me, I need to tell them who I am, what I do and why they should want to work with me.

They’ve got totally the wrong intention. And then they start handing out their business card to anyone that will take it. And what do those people do? They just put the business card in their pocket and think, [00:05:00] why is this person just throwing a business card at me? Are they interested in building a connection or are they just out to talk about themselves?

None of us want to be this person. And I know it’s awkward when you’re afraid faced with this kind of person. Who’s trying to do this to you because you just don’t know how to respond. And often you just respond by giving your business card back, which has benefited. So, what should we be like then so that we can avoid being this person?

Well, when you walk into a networking event, you shouldn’t be thinking about yourself at all. Instead, you should be thinking about the other people in the room. If you change your perspective around networking, which is a subject that I could talk to you for hours about, then you will stop thinking about what can I get out of this situation and start thinking about the other people in the room.

Don’t be a talker. Be a listener. Don’t just brag about yourself, but ask people questions. When you ask people questions, they start to open up and talk about themselves, ask some probing questions about their [00:06:00] business. Now don’t go too in depth and, and be a little bit too full on, but chat to them about who they are, why they started it, what is going on in their business, what they love about their business, and maybe what they find hard about them.

When you have this kind of deeper connection, often you will find things you have in common people. You have in common hobbies, you have in common interests, you have in common, and you actually start to build a relationship with those people, which will go on to provide you business relationships, business opportunities, and perhaps referrals in the future.

So next time you walk into an event with a big pile of business cards in your head. Put those business cards back in your bag and stop being the business cards for and start being the person that’s there to talk and help and be generous and kind to other people I promise that will always come back and benefit you in the long run.

Okay. Now person number three. Unfortunately I see quite regularly in our wedding industry, I see them online. I see them circulating in Facebook [00:07:00] groups. I see them at wedding industry networking. And I see them at wedding shows. These people are everywhere. In fact, you might have even bumped into them while having to work alongside them at a wedding.

This person I’ve named the everything’s. Perfect person. This is the person who has the perfect life and perfect business on Instagram. They think they know all things, and they’re always there to tell you why they know best and you don’t know anything at all. In fact, these people can make us feel a little bit insignificant.

They can make us feel a bit awkward and like, we don’t know what we’re talking. It’s the person that always pipes up with an answer in a Facebook group, because they know better. They disagree with everyone else because everything in their business is perfect. It’s the person at the networking event that tells you, oh, everything’s going great.

In my business. I’m constantly fully booked. I’m constantly getting inquiries. My social media presence is incredible. Everything’s amazing. Let’s be honest though. No one wants to talk to this. [00:08:00] Why because it makes you feel inadequate. You don’t want to talk to the person that’s telling you. Everything’s amazing and deep down.

We know that it’s not true. No, one’s life is perfect. Yes. We might want to portray a kind of perfect business image on Instagram, but ultimately people buy from people and people want to work with people who are. We are all human beings. We all have other things going on behind the surface. We all have struggles in our business.

Every single one of us, if we’re honest with ourselves has things about our wedding business that we’re not having. No one has a perfect business. Even people who are super successful, I’m making lots of money in their wedding business may have other struggles, perhaps their work life balance just, isn’t great.

Perhaps they’re working all the hours and never seeing their family, perhaps they’re just bored of what they’re doing and they want to change. Nothing is ever perfect. If we stopped being the everything’s perfect person and start being the real vulnerable person, [00:09:00] we can make much better connections in the industry.

And often when we’re vulnerable and say that we’re struggling with something, it enables other people to come forward and say that they’re struggling with it too. The other way it can help is if we post in a Facebook group or talk at a networking event. I’m really struggling. I have no idea how to set up my email system or I don’t even know what’s supposed post about on social media.

Other people will want to help you. They’ll give you ideas. They’ll give you inspiration. They may even send you contacts or details about people that could help you when you’re the vulnerable person, rather than the everything’s perfect person. It always leads to better things. Now I’m not saying you need to air all your dirty laundry and you don’t want to be the person that’s always miserable either, but there’s definitely a balance to be had about being real about being honest and just saying it’s okay, you don’t need to protect the fact that you’ve got a super successful business with 25 employees when it’s just you at home with the kids running around, just be yourself and don’t be the everything perfect person.[00:10:00]

Okay, our next person I’ve called the follow for a follower person. These people drive me crazy. These people are so wrapped up in their statistics. They haven’t realized that how many followers they have on Instagram is just a vanity statistic. These are the people that will try and connect with you and follow you, but only because they want you to follow them back.

Once again, all they’re doing really is thinking about the. They’re the people that will start a massive follow loop on a Facebook group or an Instagram group. They are the people that will just say, follow me and please follow me back. There’ll be the people that might even send you a message if they follow you and you don’t follow them back asking why you haven’t followed them back.

These people are spending far too much time on the wrong thing. We shouldn’t be following for a follow. We shouldn’t be trying to get as many people in the world following our Instagram as possible. We should only be connecting with people that we want to connect with. We should [00:11:00] be having the right intention.

Maybe we want to follow that person because we like them because we want to engage with them because we want to drop them a message and ask them for help. Maybe we like their work. Maybe their brand aligns with us, but we’re not doing it for the selfish reason of building up horror and following. Once again, the heart of it is if you’re this follow for a follow person, people see right through it, they know that you’re more about yourself than helping other people.

And again, no one really wants to hang around with you if you’re that person. So try and avoid being part of these big follow loops or I’ll comment on your picture. If you comment on mine, it doesn’t really work quite honestly. Damaging in the wedding industry, because if you’re constantly following and being followed by other people in the wedding industry, Instagram thinks that’s who you want to reach.

And then it gets harder and harder for you to reach brides and grooms and potential customers because Instagram thinks you just want to be in a supplier bubble. Now it’s great to connect with people on Instagram. [00:12:00] It’s great to connect with people on Facebook, but do it for the right reasons. Do it because you actually want to build a business relationship with them.

Not because you’re trying to increase your own follower account and get those vanity statistics. Now the fifth person on my list is the person that causes me personally, the most amount of heartache and pain. I want nothing more than to see you succeed in your wedding business, whatever that means for you, where the success is having more work-life balance, being able to leave your job or being able to grow a business, doing exactly what.

But this person causes me so much heartache and often I can spend far too much time trying to help them. And then just become increasingly frustrated when nothing happens. This person is the all talk. No action. They’re the person that will moan that things aren’t going well for them. No one wants them to be involved in anything.

No one wants to be the industry friend. They just don’t get anything from [00:13:00] anything that I’ve taught them. And they’re constantly miserable and they’re spreading them misery to other people as well, which is incredibly different. For me because they say, oh, I’ve heard this all before nothing ever works.

This doesn’t work. That doesn’t work. No one is interested. No, one’s replying. I just feel like giving up. Now the problem with these people isn’t that they’re being honest about their struggles because I totally encourage that. But when I dive a little bit deeper and ask them, well, what action have you taken to try and make this better?

It turns out. They haven’t, they might have watched all the business training I’ve ever given. They might have been in my group or in my membership or in my world for months and months and months. But all they do is talk, but they never take action. If I question. Well, from that training, did you set up the email automation sequence and they say, [00:14:00] no, I didn’t think it would work for me.

So I didn’t bother. I say to them, did you go to that wedding industry networking night that I recommended to you so you could meet people? No, it was a bit far out of my way or actually I just couldn’t be bothered to go. Did you think about setting up your own style shoots so that you could have the people involved in it?

Well, it kind of feels like too much work is often there. These people are incredibly frustrating because they can see that there’s a problem and they know they want to make a difference and they may even spend time or money to learn about how to solve it. But what they can’t do is. Action. And then they just spend the whole time defending why they haven’t taken the action in the first place.

So please don’t be this person because it’s what I really don’t want for any one of you. If you’re going to listen to a training or read a book or have an idea about doing something, the only person that can cause you to take action. Is you, you could pay hundreds of pounds to meet [00:15:00] up with me once a one.

I could create a whole strategy for you that I know will help you move your business forward. But if you walk away from that meeting, put that strategy in your bag and leave it there for the next year. I guarantee nothing will change. And I can’t do anything about that. I can’t make you implement the strategy.

I can’t make you take action on things. All I can do is encourage you to have the confidence, to just try, give it a go. I always see the action takers, other people that have the most success and the best results. Why? Because they’re putting themselves out there and trying something different. So don’t be the all talk.

No action. Moaner and if you’re anything like that, If you see this person popping up again and again, after a while, there’s not a lot more you can do for them other than encourage them to take action. I’d love to know what you’re thinking as I’m going through these people. Perhaps some of you identifying traits in yourself, which kind of resonate with some of those [00:16:00] people.

I think that there’s a little bit of these people in each and every one of us. And we need to fight against being these people so that we can do better in our business, which brings me to person number six. And if you haven’t resonated with any of them so far, perhaps person number six will resonate with you.

My final person is the frustrated freebie hunter. The frustrated freebie hunter is frustrated because they know they’ve got a good idea. They know they’re good at what they do, but they just don’t know how to take their business to the next level. Perhaps they don’t know how to build a website or they don’t know how to automate an email system.

Perhaps they don’t know how to build connections or what benefit that would be to them. Or they don’t even know where to meet people, perhaps they want to rebrand, but they have no idea what makes a good brand. They are frustrated because they can see they’ve got a problem. Their problem is often that no one knows they exist.

No one’s inquiring with them or no one actually books with them. Once they’ve inquired, they’re so [00:17:00] frustrated because they know they’re good at what they do, but they just don’t know what to do about. And unfortunately, instead of taking that frustration and turning it into action, this person can often become the frustrated, freebie hunter.

They searched around and look for answers to their questions, which aren’t going to cost them any money. Now I get it because when we start out in business, money is tight. Things can be difficult. We don’t always have a lot of money to invest and we can try and do everything ourselves, which is fine. But then we can’t be frustrated with the results.

Just imagine for a moment that I want one of my children to learn to swim. I put them in the water and they’re frustrated. They have to wear armbands. They have to wear some kind of tummy belt because they can’t swim. Now I could play them YouTube videos over and over again at home, teaching them how to swim.

I could just keep putting them in the water and hoping that they get a go with it, but ultimately the fastest, the safest and the best way for me [00:18:00] to get them to learn, to swim. It’s to send them to swimming lessons. Now, anyone who’s a parent out there will know that this costs money, swimming lessons are not.

But why do I do it? Because I value that time and that investment, because I know it will result in an expert teaching my children how to swim and they will walk out at the end of those set of lessons, being able to swim and be safe in water. They’ll no longer be frustrated when we go on holiday.

They’ll no longer be frustrated or scared of being in the water. Why? Because we’ve invested in solving their problem with an expert. But with great, it’s doing that in those kinds of situations, but when it’s our business, for some reason, we shut down and we don’t want to spend any money, we think we can do it all ourselves.

And we think we can just get on and learn it for free just by trying it and giving it a go. But then we’ve become frustrated because the free things that we’re trying to find, the free videos we’re trying to watch, or just the advice we’re getting for free from friends doesn’t seem to be doing the job [00:19:00] and we become the frustrated free behind.

Constantly searching around for an answer, but not willing to pay any money or invest any time to get it fixed sooner. Now I’m sure there’s someone out there probably that I could find who might try and teach my kids to swim for free, but I guarantee you, they probably not going to do as good a job as the expert that I am paying every single.

So don’t become the frustrated, freebie hunter. If you want your business to succeed and you want something to be better, sometimes it’s much better to pay an expert to do that. Perhaps you are not happy with the imagery on your site. Perhaps you’ve got images which you’ve taken on your phone, and they’re just not doing your products or services, justice, and no one’s ever coming to you because they don’t like the look of your products.

Well, you can try and improve your photography skills. You could go out and buy a better car. Or you could just invest in someone to come and do a branding photo shoot with you. And guess what? You’re going to end up with incredible images, way [00:20:00] better than anything you could have done on your own. Perhaps you’re stuck and you need a strategy to move forward.

You need help with how to build an email system. You need help with how to do better at a wedding show. You need to understand how to use Pinterest. Well, go to an expert, come to me for a one-to-one session. Join my membership and watch. Go to someone that can give you the answer immediately and tell you how to do it well and support you along the way.

You don’t want to become the frustrated, freebie hunter. If something’s frustrating, you find a way to solve it, find the expert and fix it. And if it’s not a priority right now, then put a date in the diary for when you do have a bit more money that you can go ahead and invest in that. It’s always a bit of a chicken and egg situation, isn’t it?

Because often we’re not getting the inquiries in because we haven’t got the images or the website to back it up. And so if we don’t improve the images, we don’t get the money. And if we don’t get the money, we don’t feel like we can afford to improve the [00:21:00] images. Ultimately starting a business does cost something.

And while I don’t think it needs to cost you hundreds of pounds, have a think about where you should be investing your money to improve your result. So all of the people I’ve talked about today, other people we don’t want to be, you don’t want to be the used car salesman. You don’t want to be the person who’s throwing their business cards around a networking event.

You don’t want to be the everything’s perfect person or the follow for a follower person. You definitely don’t want to be the all talk. No action. And you definitely don’t want to be the frustrated freebie hunter, either as you listen, you may be chuckling to yourself, as you can recognize some of these character traits in some of the people that I’ve mentioned today, but you might also be looking at yourself and realizing actually, maybe I fall into some of these categories and that’s okay.

Recognizing it in yourself means that you can help and try and make a difference to. Although, we don’t want to be like these people. We can laugh about it [00:22:00] and we can learn from it to make sure that we’re doing better business, being better people. And ultimately the best person you can be. Is yourself.

So take that away from today. Don’t try and be any of these people. Just be yourself. Be humble, be willing to learn and be willing to help other people. I’m I guarantee you, it will help you grow your wedding business. One thing I love about the wedding industry is the other amazing people you get to work with.

If you want to meet some like-minded wedding pros, just like you, then why not join my free Facebook. Wedding pros and we’re ready to grow. Come meet some new connections, hang out with me and hopefully learn too just search for us on Facebook.

Becca xo

1 Comment

  1. Sue Wilde

    Loved this – OMG I can think of a few of these! Made me smile.

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